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Zandt88 wrote (edited )

As a small child my son had an identity. Not so much a gender identity. I think he was just being himself in all aspects. Only later, as he became exposed to media and those constructs of "this is female" and "this is male" did he begin questioning his choices within that framework. It became a societally imposed gender identity he had to conform to rather than his own identity. I saw a TED talk about the feeling of shame recently and how shame is really just a fear of not being included (over simplified for the sake of comment length). As humans we are so geared toward needing others that it appears we will forego (or mitigate) our own identities (gender or otherwise) to be accepted and loved. At least during formative years. Later we have to unlearn this in order to find ourselves. This is just a general comment of speculation and not intended to castegate, justify, or rationalize any behaviour. Simply to spurn conversation.