Recent comments in /f/SanctionedSuicide

sureliveon7 OP wrote (edited )

I can't even fucking say to be on my shoe and see for yourself to prove my decision right. Don't do it. I don't think you can go through that. My shoes won't even fit!

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sureliveon7 OP wrote (edited )

I have only 1 regret. Nah girl it's not marrying you. Couldn't be helped na ?! My regret is my lil sis. I wanted a sis. Then 1 day I was reminded how my rapist told me if only I was a girl and once saw my dad and sis meeting him and his family. I was just ready to kill if things even went a lil over the line. Gladly nothing happened. But I kinda let her in this mess. I always hope she don't ever get any of my karma. She should see life through her own hand. If she knew about me she would maybe proud of me. Always there for you sis but not together , it's lethal with me. Sometimes I ask whose fault is it that things turned out this way. I was kinda hoping that after all of this I might get something good out of it.

What if I faced all that just to find my love,a partner, someone like you girl. But to be with you, I just wonder what more than this do I have to go through with. I dont care about my mum dad cause their son died loooong time back. I just follow along as an obligation. Raped,sucked dick, licked my own vomit, saw 4 Yr old girl going through same, did the same out of insanity (but not like that, you can judge or take it anyway its not as if anyone was there to guide), I got my resume full!! Job please or should I say death please.

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sureliveon7 OP wrote

And maybe never leave your kid alone. You don't know what might kill him/her or leave broken forever. Its hard to find any love these days in this era. While I prepare my bed remember that! When I was bad I was baddest. When I turned good there was no good left anywhere else. Now the bad wanna take over. Before I let that happen it's gonna be adios amigo soon!!

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sureliveon7 OP wrote

What if I die while solving a sudoku, writing a joke or write some codes!! I have planned to call my way as AND( ARTIFICIAL NATURAL DEATH). it works for people who want to leave with no traces of suicide at all. Just clear calm unfortunate situation where nobody can be blamed.

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sureliveon7 OP wrote (edited )

After all this I live with my principles. With pain comes rules. I'm truly disgusted at this world now. Especially when someone says move on, time heals, success, blah blah bitchings. I'm a 21st century romeo. No one knows how hard it is for me to love or trust anybody. Well not there fault. Honestly I have no regrets, things never worked out well but I always did my best, ALWAYS. See lived as a warrior. I'll wait for some at the door of other side. And have tea party with hell mates telling stories. I have tons of things that can make me a party hero.

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sureliveon7 OP wrote

Instead of talking about my bullshit of life since childhood, but let's talk a lil! I have been raped from the times unknown to myself. Made choices to save others and got raped again. Couldn't save someone from the same. And there is no appreciation, but it will rip my family to shreds if I tell them. I enjoyed doing the same to others and there was no help. There was never any help. Being surrounded by everyone and still fought all alone. What if I tell everyone (might as well feel like slapping them) and then go. But again, I should finish with a lie as well. Let them rot and feel not more bad if they knew my past. I was hanging on hoping to find someone, lock all the pain away and give them the key. I could never lock it myself cause I always had the key. But time n time again I have been proved that nahh bro it is what it is. Well a warrior must rest and I'm done with saving people enough. Ahhh and atleast I met an angel before my death again proving at last there is no hope for me. If I go to someplace I would talk so much about my angel. I'm not doing it cause I can't take it anymore or bullshit but because I have kept some beast hidden and what if it gets out like before and so much suppression could cause a disaster. What if I become a molester killer terrorist. What if I'm not in my control. I have suppressed it once but its not gonna stop this time and come out roaring.

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sureliveon7 OP wrote

So I have shown my best psychological moments and all fun on all social medias so that there won't be any traces from that end. I lived with lies and finish with that as well. It's funny that no one has the slightest of idea about it!! This helps when you are in a situation where you don't anyone else to get the blame especially someone you hold dearest. Yeah that's you if you can ever read this. I didn't mean the reason but the dearest part 😉

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sureliveon7 OP wrote

I would suggest a way to remove suspicion if your method involves asphyxiation or harmful gas inhalation.

Create a fire and then inhale your gas, remove any suspicion of suicide. Best is to store the gas in balloon. If not fire then create a electric socket burn by maybe putting water inside socket and switching on or similar methods and then inhale the gas. It will feel like you got shocked or due to by fire you died. But suicide will be ruled out if you play it very well.

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sureliveon7 OP wrote

Yay! My parents got bleach. So I'll be testing with the fumes for a couple of days. Just make sure that you don't go to a doctor before you are critical and incurable

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sureliveon7 OP wrote (edited )

Cigs, yeah I'm smoking 1 pack now each day. But it's just a slow process. I have been smoking a lot from last 5 years. And also ingesting 1 or 2 mothballs each day. Though my heart feels heavy and I'm sensing something bad with my kidney. But it's quite a slow process. If there is something I can get my hands on as easily as mothballs. Cigs are also a very slow process and some don't even die for a long time. I can hardly extend to the end of this month.

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sureliveon7 OP wrote (edited )

Also mention some poisons which can be used for instant death but could be ruled as accident. Like poisoning the whole drinking water and dying from drinking. That could never lead to suicide. Also like inhaling Mercury from thermometer, I don't know if that much is enough. Or make some gas easily at home in washroom where I can flush all evidence and die with no suicide proof. Like detergent gas. Complete accidental suicide.

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sureliveon7 OP wrote

Yeah this could work and I have thought of it. Messing with wrong gang and dying in some road rage. But let's not go anywhere and think from a little room. What things are available for us ? How to get cancer or a heart attack ? Or some other way which can raise lil to no suspicion of suicide. From my end I have tried my best to show complete happiness in all social media so it doesn't show any psychological suicidal thoughts. As I mentioned 'clever'. It could help others with the same thought.

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Username9 wrote

If I have a choice in the matter, I plan to buy a surfboard, paddle out as far as I can until I'm too tired to paddle anymore, and then take a cocktail of drugs that will get me pleasantly high for my last few conscious moments until they make me unconscious and stop my breathing. Then the next big wave can knock me over into the sea so I can be fish food.

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Majrelende wrote

Reply to by !deleted13038

I think it can certainly be very healing to be with other forms of life; for me there is a realness and joy to them that tends not to be present with other humans, usually. But you may not have to go headfirst into a natural place with little experience. Maybe first, find a packet of vegetable seeds, perhaps a radish or some other fast growing plant, and sow a few, somewhere where you will see them grow. I have had great joy this summer watching five or so squash plants, each growing in every direction at such a speed that the fences need to be moved every week. Also, perhaps learn the weeds and wild plants so that you can greet them whenever you pass by. Or find their names yourself.

First generation self-sufficiency is a slow process though, which requires quite a bit of experience, as I have learned. (Experience I don't have yet.) For instance, before I would never have thought to boil any food except pasta or soup, but when I read a bit in a book about boiling greens into a porridge, I tried and it was delicious-- it helped to even out the bitter garlic mustard and cress flavours while making the milkweeds and nettles more tender, and didn't sacrifice nutrients. And I have yet to grow more than a handful or two of grain. But it is possible; everyone's ancestors lived naturally for uncountable generations, and everyone's descendants will have to for hopefully at least as long. Be ambitious but cautious, I think.

I hope I didn't come off as condescending here; I thought it important to share what experiences I could. But tell me if I was.

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Fool wrote

Reply to by !deleted13038

As Kinshavo has said, you're certainly appreciated here.

The idea of just going into the wilderness, and letting whatever comes just happen, certainly has its charm.

Maybe if you're really set on it, you can prepare for it. Research a location, build knowledge about foraging in the area. Learn some skills for survival, like building small structures for protection against the elements. Make a plan to take your life into your own hands.

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kinshavo wrote

Reply to by !deleted13038

I learned to live with loneliness, but for the most part is my choice.

I am sure you are appreciated here in Raddle, only if we could be a physical community to support you more closely.. Maybe there's no words I can say that can make you feel better, no matter how I try, but I want you to think if a definitive solution is really needed.

I had the same feeling and when the things are going down I move to another city, not sure how long I can pull this up, but it is keeping me busy.

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