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sureliveon7 OP wrote

Honestly I have been praying so hard these last few months. To convince her family for our marriage. I was praying all day today to hear that good news that they agreed.

She called some hours back. I was (you can imagine how it felt) shaking just to hear that line. But nah it didn't happen. Just a normal casual talk. I did my best to not show my psychological side or even talk about love. We talked for an hour. I called her again just to confirm whether she missed telling me anything else. But she said no. She laughed while we were on call. Her smile is the most precious thing I have seen in my lifetime.

I turned to God and laughed. What kind of indication is that. To me it felt like : that one time he did not put his cock in my ass so it can't be called rape aye!

I'll try to make sure that she don't get to hear my death. If I have made people smile around me throughout my lifetime might as well do so till the end. Fuck to the thought of what about me. Sometimes I feel like a fucking Jesus. Well atleasfhe wasn't raped. Noted!

Why do I keep mentioning rape all the time ? I dont know man, maybe habit, maybe I have not been raped enough so I keep using that word. "Ohh it's just rape, don't male a big deal out of it" aha haha! Sure sure bitches. At one time I started using rape as an excuse in my head for things that I never received like love, and all. At one time I was using rape as an excuse so that someone anyone can help me out of my loneliness. But mind me don't do that.

Today is April fool's day, nice plan god hahaha ha

No one should be so broken. Broken enough to watch the whole world burn with me just laughing, at the flames.