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sureliveon7 OP wrote (edited )

Second thing I'm grateful about. Not just grateful, it's like my only dream was fulfilled.

Before going in details I should first tell what I really wanted or still wish for same. Its ACCEPTANCE. Just someone to hug me tight, and tell me "stop fighting kiddo, rest now. I'm here for you. Just rest on my lap and let me handle the rest. You have saved and suffered enough. Now let me take care of you."

Yeah finally I was able to take a glance at my wish. You guessed it- love. I think she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Though her smile was better than any kind of good feeling i have ever felt. She laughs as this is gonna be her last chance to do it. As if there's not gonna be any other moment.

It wasnt love at first sight at all. It was indeed her smile. Folks, can you imagine, being from such a background she accepted me. She accepted me and even went on to ask her family about our marriage. This was more than enough for me. I was not even sure that I can ever be blessed with even this much. Though it didnt go as planned im more than happy. I'm like the most happiest man right now. Finally accepted, finally.

Though some things upset me. It's you losers who have made this notion of moving on. If you pussies can't handle it and stay honest to your feelings keep it to yourself only. Don't spread it. She told me to move on. How dare she. Not her fault. It's just her perception of this era and its alright. Im a fault, a mistake for this era. She said never wait for anyone. Hahaha as if girl. That's not me 😏. I love you. I could have lived forever with just your memories forever. But the thing is im a jealous man. How can i see my girl with someone else having babies and all. I can bear my past and this I cannot. A man gotta stay a man not a pussy who moves on at slightest issues. That's ,atleast, my way of living and I'm fucking proud of you. I'm not like you other phonies. 21st century romeo aye!😉

If you ever get to read this. Atleast listen to yourself. Always follow your heart. It doesn't have to be me. Heck go back to your first love or whatever. I got no issues. Honestly I can never see tears in your eyes.

Thing is I can't compromise. I feel if you want to live a life that is not gonna be sad (that doesn't mean it's gonna be a happy one) just go with the flow, don't be stubborn for good stuffs, don't fight for anything. Hahaha fuck that. Thats not how I roll. It's my decision. I'm every proud of it.

I honestly wish to spend time with you in whatever place we go to after death. I promise I'll be waiting at the door from where all souls pass. But I'm scared what if you get into husband and kids. Fuck I won't be a hindrance. I sometimes wish I dont become a ghost cause I'm sure that I'll linger around you only! But again your family will piss me off.

Goodbye angel. Keep that smile for me. There's not much left of that anyway in this world. Can you maybe look up and smile every once in awhile. I'm in your debt for giving me so much. Be proud. You gave me something which no one else was ever able to do. I'll miss you forever if my mind is not erased by the universe. I'm proud that all my remaining love went to you cause I only had so much in reserve. Its honestly a miracle that I can even love. Sorry for sending you memes so often. I feel kinda relived just to see you active, last seen a sign that you r alive.

I think it happened for the best. You should never even be allowed to be in my presence. We belong from 2 totally different world. You should never get in touch with mine. I'm sorry I forgot my predicament and got enchanted by you. Quite mischief!