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sureliveon7 OP wrote

Instead of talking about my bullshit of life since childhood, but let's talk a lil! I have been raped from the times unknown to myself. Made choices to save others and got raped again. Couldn't save someone from the same. And there is no appreciation, but it will rip my family to shreds if I tell them. I enjoyed doing the same to others and there was no help. There was never any help. Being surrounded by everyone and still fought all alone. What if I tell everyone (might as well feel like slapping them) and then go. But again, I should finish with a lie as well. Let them rot and feel not more bad if they knew my past. I was hanging on hoping to find someone, lock all the pain away and give them the key. I could never lock it myself cause I always had the key. But time n time again I have been proved that nahh bro it is what it is. Well a warrior must rest and I'm done with saving people enough. Ahhh and atleast I met an angel before my death again proving at last there is no hope for me. If I go to someplace I would talk so much about my angel. I'm not doing it cause I can't take it anymore or bullshit but because I have kept some beast hidden and what if it gets out like before and so much suppression could cause a disaster. What if I become a molester killer terrorist. What if I'm not in my control. I have suppressed it once but its not gonna stop this time and come out roaring.