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Bezotcovschina OP wrote

I fled

Black Warrior

Honestly, I feel like shit. I don't want to make it even more about myself, because my position now is incomparably better than position of thousands others since 24'th February and even before, always had been. I'm separated from my home, my partner, my cats for uncertain amount of time, yes, but I did nothing to stop my country from separating families forever in Syria, Ukraine and Russia itself. And now I fled and will continue to do nothing. But what could I've done? I was living in a small Siberian town, even if there were protests, there were more riot police than protesters. Sacrifice my life to make a statement? I've scouted recruiting offices in my area, looking for locations of security cameras, window material. But almost all of them are located on a ground floor of residential apartment buildings and, even if I expect most residents to be able to evacuate in a case of fire, some of them might not. And pets in those apartments. What if they will be left behind? Do we deserved it all for our passiveness, cowardliness, content? Who exactly deserved it? Buryats, Tuvans, Dagestanis in remote villages disproportionately drafted to the war? Should THEY get their shit together and fix this god damned country? And what is "to fix" in this context, exactly? Make it like "normal european democracy"? Nation of slaves, they say. Negative selection for centuries, they say. Look, people in country X rebelled and made their country "better" than it was, so why couldn't you do exactly the same? Because situation in country X is literally the same as in your country! Ok, I'm not mad, we deserved it, really. I'm just sad. Weak and incompetent. Why am I whining about poor me and my feelings in this situation? I probably should shut up already. My feelings is the least important thing now.

Death to Russia! Death to "beautiful Russia of the future"! Death to "normal european democracies"!

Just had to speak out. Thank you for your attention and sorry. Probably will delete latter

5

kin wrote

I felt sometimes that I needed to be more active in my future and be the ultimate anarchist, but always I felt impotent.

Don't underestimate your attitude, takes a great courage to do what you did. Some people just let be dragged by the situation. I really think that Russia is at a crossroad right now as Europe as a whole. The world is spiraling out of control, besides the ecocide and collapse.

So I wish all the good fortune to you, we will need more fatherless sons out there.

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Fool wrote

Your feelings and actions are perfectly admirable. You don't need to doubt the path, but also it's understandable to feel that way, when you're so disconnected and isolated.

I hope you are doing okay, and have means to keep going and find some sort of stability where you end up.

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