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Catsforfun OP wrote

Ive struggled feeling like my gender is fake sometimes, because.. well, it isn't consistent and people have a hard time understanding nb, anyway. But thats ok, it just never made sense. My triggers make sense to me though, even if involuntarily changing my personality in response to them doesn't.

If I did get my alter/false self/whatever to collapse, then I would be a ciswoman, which also doesnt feel right. I feel nb has the breadth to encompass my experience, even if I dont feel nb 100% of the time and even if it IS just a trauma response. My femme part though, has really been wanting to be seen and I'm worried I invalidate her by claiming nonbinary status. Often, I feel that I have to appease them both at the same time, which is very very difficult.

I'm definitely going to talk to my therapist about it, but I have no idea if she has any experience with this.

I really appreciate your vulnerability; its been validating.