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Amy wrote (edited )

"This means Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, 2-Spirited and Allies."

Why the fuck is "allies" in there. They aren't queer, stop putting them in acronyms to erase Ace/Aro people.


GaldraChevaliere wrote

As far as I'm aware it was there initially to allow people who couldn't safely be out access to the community's resources without necessarily letting their families and bosses know what was up. Self-righteous straighties trying to 'rescue' us came later. And, to be honest, given my experiences with cishet aces/aros, I feel like being ace should be ancillary to whatever other category you fall under in terms of acceptance under a queer umbrella. I'm pretty goddamned tired of being talked to like a dog for having desires and urges like the majority of folk.

If you experience same or similar gender attraction, whether sexually or asexually, or if you identify with a gender other than the one forced on you at birth by a doctor, you're queer. But there is no material oppression for being heteroromantic and just not interested in sex, or for being heterosexual and not having romantic feelings. Not in the way being queer does. It's a different experience from cisheterosexuality, definitely, and it does face challenges, but it's not the same thing as the historical and contemporary brutality and violence that the lgbt community has faced.

I'd rather the communities be allied and overlap than merge together, especially given the toxic attitudes a lot of ace people have towards other people's sexuality where it doesn't involve them. I've gotten screeched at more than once for trying to kiss my fucking partners or asking them what they want to do later in a social environment with three ace folk I was supposed to feel safe in who were disgusted by any sort of public display of affection. Ace folk have their own hurdles to deal with, and the hurdles of wherever they fall under LGBT when they do, but on its own it's not in the same depth as "can be murdered if you're caught in the wrong place or evicted or fired."

Ace discourse in general seems to be soaked in respectability politics especially regarding Pride and openly expressing our orientations, and a kind of inclusionism that puts us at risk by insisting that cishet aces who perpetrate social and I'd wager as often physical violence as any other straight should have access to our limited resources often over lgbt folk who are actually vulnerable. It's also pretty comedic/really goddamned disgusting that they sling accusations of biphobia and transphobia to bi and trans people for calling them out on that behavior because 'that's what terfs do' as if pointing out that people who straight up identify as cis and het aren't lgbt is the same thing as violently erasing and 'correcting' someone's identity often by force.

Maybe it's my shitty experiences with the ones I've met, so I'm sorry for the rant, but it genuinely does aggravate me enough that I've been stuck on it for a while. I'm tired of people who are supposed to be 'with us' trying to chase me back into the closet and I'm tired of being told my feelings when expressed to other people who also feel them towards me are gross and icky and this is why the straights hate us and so fucking on.