I listened to this during a longboarding session last week, and it's been on my mind ever since. I agree with its premise, but it's made me question a few things.
The main thing being, as a gay man married to another gay man, I've never seen my marriage as an act of "normalcy," though I suppose it is. For us, it's more of a personal and cultural symbolic act that binds our love and committment to each other, and I see it as something entered into entirely of our own volition, not because we felts like we "have to" or "should." In fact, we co-habitated for 5 years before ever getting married.
I do agree though that it is problematic to somehow make this the "normal" for everyone. For instance, I'm acquainted with poly people who have disclosed to me how they sometimes feel "othered" for the type of relationship they choose to have.
Yet, our marriage certainly did come bound with certain cultural norms. The religion in which we both were raised (Protestant Christianity) definitely led us to be married in a church, which itself can be seen as an oppressive agency.
There's a lot to unpack. Add to this the fact that my husband and I are both trauma survivors, and it is often hard to parse out our motivations for doing and acting.
I'd hate to think I'm part of the problem.
I'd like to hear anyone's thoughts about any part of this essay, not just this. I've listened to it a second time, and it's still giving me a lot to think about.