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[deleted] wrote (edited )

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tabby wrote (edited )

Sexual preference isn't just a genital preference or about "what's under the clothing". Gay men aren't just men with a penis preference; lesbians aren't women with a vagina preference; heterosexual people aren't just people who prefer people with the opposite genitals. People are sexed.

Don't know why saying "biologically female" is yikes. Female is a sex, and what else does sex have to do with other than biology (until you attach sex/gender roles to sexes)? In choosing a romantic and/or sexual partner, how is it "yikes" to have sex as a criterion unless you want to try to say that sexual orientation isn't real or valid?

Having a sexual orientation doesn't mean you choose anyone who aligns with your orientation indiscriminately. I very seriously doubt that OP only cares about "what's hidden under the clothing".

OP: don't think too hard about it. Go touch some grass. You're you. You're attracted to who you're attracted to. As to your question, no, you probably shouldn't identify as queer.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

Nah youre being transphobic. There are a lot of stuff that goes into attraction and none of the factors only apply to one sex. You're just spending your time defending ciehetero mythology.

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[deleted] wrote (edited )

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tabby wrote

I don't even know what "biological genders" means. I'm talking about sexes, not genders.

You can generally, with exceptions (I can hear the "Gotcha!" now), tell what sex someone is just by looking by:

  • amount and location of hair growth;
  • height;
  • muscle mass;
  • voice pitch;
  • hip width;
  • facial bone structure;
  • fat distribution.

If this isn't the case, then what else does "passing" mean if not being perceived as the opposite sex due to changing some or all of the above characteristics by using hormones, medications, cosmetics, prosthetics, voice training, hair removal, and/or surgery?

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[deleted] wrote (edited )

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tabby wrote

What dogwhistle? That I think trans women are male, and trans men are female? I've made my thoughts on that abundantly clear. That's not a dogwhistle; that's a regular human whistle.

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CivilizationsEnd wrote

You are upholding centuries old white supremacist falsehoods that essentialize the diversity of human bodies. Please consider touching grass and decolonizing your remaining brain cells

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[deleted] wrote (edited )

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tabby wrote (edited )

I don't understand how what I said could be construed as transphobic at all. All I contend is that there are two sexes, male and female (and a small percentage of intersex people), that sex can't be changed, and that trans men and trans women change gender but not sex. (It is their gender that is trans to their sex; otherwise, it makes no sense to even talk about cis and trans.) That some trans men and trans women find it upsetting that this is the case doesn't make it transphobic.

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Fool wrote (edited )

That some trans men and trans women find it upsetting that this is the case doesn't make it transphobic.

Well yeah, it kinda does. It's an oversimplification of a complex issue with a complete disregard for those effected.

Maybe "phobic" is not the exact word for it, but it is the common usage of the word.

What you have said is offensive and dismissive. So if you don't understand how that's transphobic, you might need to take a good look at yourself and where your values are coming from.

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lachsarb OP wrote (edited )

"biological genders," is peak TERF-ery, but, sure.

I never said gender is biological. I said sex is biological, which it is by definition. And yes, TERFs have tried coopting gender abolition so they can instead rely on sex to invalidate trans people, which I disagree with.

For a moment, though do tell me how you're supposed to know if someone is "biologically" male/female without looking at genitals.

You can't know for sure. That's because "biological sex" -while revolving around biology- is essentially just a social construct.

I also know quite a LOT of heterosexual people that DO INDEED obsess over genitals and use that as the basis for disregarding the existence and validity of trans people.

Probably because they're transphobic.

I very seriously doubt that OP only cares about "what's hidden under the clothing".

So by definition I might be considered bi, even though I'm only interested in people who are biologically female or maybe intersex

I literally just said I'm only sexually interested in people who have vulvas. Again I ask, do you have to want to fuck someone in order to care about them?

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lachsarb OP wrote

Without any other context and following the apparent logic, just caring about if people are "biologically female," (yikes)

Never said anything about caring about specific groups of people. I care about everyone. And if you have a better term for "biologically female" I'm all ears, but I've never heard one before.

just caring about if people are "biologically female," (yikes) would mean that they don't care about if they're a cis woman or a trans man as long as their genital preference of having a vagina is fulfilled.

Yes. What's wrong with that?

Not a lot of room to claim you care about the person themselves and rather about what's hidden under the clothing.

In order for me to "care" about someone I have to want to fuck them? I'm trying to be as charitable to you as possible but I can't see how this is anything but wilful misreading on your part.

Check out the rules of this forum.

I already did before posting. All I said was that I don't feel a connection to my assigned gender identity, that I only wanna fuck people with vulvas, and that I'm questioning my romantic orientation.

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[deleted] wrote (edited )

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lachsarb OP wrote

When you espouse transphobic rhetoric, people will say something; whether it is intentional or not.

I never said anything transphobic. You were just reading into it too much, which is okay. Seems like you're still upset with me after you realized your mistake.

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[deleted] wrote (edited )

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lachsarb OP wrote

I responded to your comments quote by quote and even provided sources to back up my understanding of gender and sex. If all you can do is call me TERF off of no basis, maybe you're in the wrong. (and that's okay, I could see from your perspective but I think I provided good clarification of what I meant, but still you hold the same position.)

I'll just have a laugh at this with my trans friends, who I very much care about. Sorry if I upset you but I don't think this was my wrongdoing.

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[deleted] wrote (edited )

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lachsarb OP wrote

Do share real sources

I did. I cited the NIH, APA, CIHR, and Stanford.

And when I say sources I mean something more than a series of definitions to fit your confirmation bias.

I have no confirmation bias. You're the one arguing against yourself.

I'll save you some effort. I suppose intersex people don't exist, which is why cishets feel the need to forcibly change their bodies to continue their myth.

That very twitter post affirms everything I've been saying lmao. I even mentioned intersex people in my post. You even quoted me mentioning them, so I know you saw it. And as opposed to tweets, I can actually provide reputable sources backing up the claim that sex is not binary.

You're just strawmanning to such extremes that you literally post twitter threads that affirm my understanding of sex, which you originally disputed.

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[deleted] wrote (edited )

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lachsarb OP wrote (edited )

Deflections and shifting goal-posts.

Not an argument. Nor is that accurate.

And no, you're not queer.

That's fine. I'm gonna go get me a genderfluid boyfriend with a vulva (which is transphobic to you) while you invalidate their gender identity (which is totally not transphobic in your view) as well as my gender identity, sexual orientation, and romantic orientation (which again is also totally not queerphobic to you).

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[deleted] wrote (edited )

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lachsarb OP wrote

No, the idea that there are biological sexes is the transphobic part.

The twitter thread you literally linked affirms that sex is biological, which again is backed by the trans rights document I sourced.

Don't tokenize your friends to change the subject. "I have a friend who is x, how can I be x-phobic!?"

I never tokenized them, I said they're laughing at how you became queerphobic and threw logic out the window in a weird attempt to win an argument against someone you deemed transphobic... anyways that's enough back and fourth. I don't think you realize exactly what happened in this conversation so there's really no point in me trying to get you to understand what on earth either you or I said.

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