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Stigmata wrote

I’m a gay dude, and I actually liked the process of coming out. Parts of it were really crap, but I feel like it was really empowering for me personally, being able to say “this is who I am and if you don’t like it you can leave my life”. I also felt like it was the culmination of many years of confusion and sometimes frustration where I came to terms with my sexuality and got comfortable with it. (I feel like a big part of it was coming out to myself).

That being said, there is no necessity in doing something related to coming out; it’s just one way of expressing your identity, and it may not be something everyone wants or feels they need. It’s just one path of many.

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lastfutures wrote

I like some of the sentiments here, but I think coming out still has a lot of value for many people. It's not just about het people.

Inviting in makes an assumption I don't agree with in many situations. I don't care about inviting homophobes into my life, but that doesn't mean I want them to think everyone around them is straight.

If homophobia were eliminated, would we still say coming out? Probably not, but that's not the situation we're in. Coming out is still often an act of defiance rather than an invitation.

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condensation_arrangement wrote

very interesting, i'm leaning towards agreeing with this, especially because (although not mentioned in this article) sexuality can morph and change throughout a person's life, yet we expect people to come out once, and as soon as possible.

my mom took it as a personal offense that i didn't come out to her, but also she assumed all her children would be straight lol..........i think this happens with many people though

anyway, the one way i find myself disagreeing is in the case of someone with a public audience...it always bothers me when people with huge queer followings who have hinted at being queer refuse to actually talk about it openly....but this brings up a whole question of celebrity -- do you have an obligation to be public about certain things for the sake of your audience or community.

one interesting related event would be Harvey Milk outing Oliver Sipple, as a sort of strategic move for the gay rights movement -- as if someone the country has accepted as a hero must come out because it may improve the cultural image of gay people

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