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neverinNJ wrote

On the Guillotine, Bones seemed to be an overemotional, very passionate type. It would get tiring to listen to his lengthy tirades. I thought that he was on a path to some sort of breakdown. I did enjoy his ever-changing intro/ribbing of his co-host. I appreciated his writing more than his podcasts.

I was sorry to read the twitter posts and that this was not a one-time thing. There was plenty of hurt to go around for one night when Bones should have gone straight to bed with his wife instead, We should all strive in our words, actions, and thoughts not to harm ourselves and others.

This is the longest post you will get out of me.

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ziq wrote

everyone is so disappointing :(

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Freux wrote

Can someone enlighten me how you can prone anarchism and be such a creep?

Nobody is perfect but there is a huge step between that and predatory behaviour. I also remember something about some "anarchist" band not so long ago that disolve because two of their members were extremely sexist and rapist scum.

An ex-friend once told me that they would rape me if their life depends on it but no worries such a scenario would never happen. What the fuck is wrong with people ready to commit atrocities to save their life? It's so fucking creepy.

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celebratedrecluse wrote

An ex-friend once told me that they would rape me if their life depends on it but no worries such a scenario would never happen

I...what...how does this sort of comment even come up in conversation?? wtf

Anyway:

Can someone enlighten me how you can prone anarchism and be such a creep?

Well my opinion on this is that people who are attracted to a philosophy whose conclusions are as dire and grim as revolutionary politics can be (death of the planet impending, hierarchy everywhere, the need for some sort of showdown between the forces of equality and inequity, the lack of any sort of guarantee of success) can sometimes be these macho types who are also misogynist, rapists, entitled, etc.

There is also the problem of radical politics being disproportionately populated by people who have the privilege to study theory, music, and other things that are unfortunately (and only partially) restricted to bourgeois people, and culturally insulated to white people often too, which is another layer of privilege.

the solution to this is to create anarchist spaces and communities which have a no-tolerance attitude for the types of behaviors that signal, and eventually lead to, predatory behavior. Dr. Bones, as much as I liked his characters, had plenty of these: cultural appropriation (which basically nobody called out), glamorization of substance use (its fine to use, or to talk about use, but he would exaggerate both his portrayal of his use & actually overindulge for dramatic social purposes on the podcast/in his writing), and frankly just the arrogant/domineering way he would talk on the podcast sometimes.

It's really hard to have these kind of discussions and interventions early, which is why it's so very important do so, and create a culture across multiple radical communities of doing so. If you catch this stuff early, you can attempt to call-in, you can save people from going through really painful call-outs, and most importantly you can stop people from being victimized.

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Freux wrote

It came up because that person enjoy asking those "if you had to choose between this or that what would you do?". I don't remember the "would you rather" but we clearly disagree on it which led to asking a bunch of questions and I got to know that they would rape me (or others) for their own survival.

Do you think those people that prone anarchism yet act opposite to it are full of shit or they simply don't realise their behaviour, so as you say, calling people out is the most important thing.

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celebratedrecluse wrote

It came up because that person enjoy asking those "if you had to choose between this or that what would you do?"

lol wtf that's a social fail if i ever heard of one...and I would know lmao

Do you think those people that prone anarchism yet act opposite to it are full of shit or they simply don't realise their behaviour, so as you say, calling people out is the most important thing.

I think it depends, and making sweeping judgements is difficult and fraught with complications. All of us fail to live up to our beliefs, values and ideals, its the nature of being human. However, some of us also have selfish or malevolent intent. It's sort of a cop-out answer but you just have to feel out the situation for yourself when you're in it. It sucks because I've been taken advantage of by predatory people due to being too trusting in the wrong people, but i also feel very strongly that it would be even worse to shut myself off from trusting people in a big way, because that's reactive to past circumstance rather than engaged with the present.

In the case of your friend, though, that's a big red flag for me, not only did they share this info but they also sought out to tell you this info. A reasonable person would know that endorsing rape under any circumstances is going to make other uncomfortable, and they would not seek to espouse that unless they were making some weird kind of power play or they didn't even think about how you would feel, which are both kind of concerning possibilities

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Freux wrote

Yup, knowing their past I am not surprised of their struggle when it's about social behaviour. It has never been talk again, but other stuff came up and the accumulation of behaviour I didn't approve of, led me to kick them out of my life.

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selver OP wrote

Of course Reddit turned this into a "why can't I fetishize trans women" thread. Never disappoints eh.

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ziq wrote (edited )

And both the men pulling that shit are r/@ mods.

fucking reddit

I feel really bad for faolinbean being the only decent anarchist on that mod team.

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[deleted] wrote

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celebratedrecluse wrote

stigmatizing and medicalizing users is a better idea?

How about we hold everyone accountable for their behavior, regardless of their use or abstention from any substances?

Bones' problem is toxic masculinity and predatory behavior, it has nothing to do with his own substance use per se-- rather it has to do with the fact that he took advantage of and coerced a femme over a period of many months-- the means are not really the point, the issue is his behavior, the choices he made to manipulate and fetishize someone who was inclined to trust him.

please do not use this man as a reason to scapegoat people who are already marginalized, like drug users. That said, everyone needs to be held accountable for their decisions, regardless of substances being involved or not everyone is responsible for their choices and the people that they hurt.

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rot wrote

WHAT

the fuck

I loved bones

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rot wrote

shit

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