Recent comments in /f/Parenting
chakarera wrote
Reply to comment by !deleted30 in I've been reading alfie kohn's "the myth of the spoiled child" by hasbrochem
wtf, that person should not be working as a therapist
hasbrochem OP wrote
Reply to comment by !deleted30 in I've been reading alfie kohn's "the myth of the spoiled child" by hasbrochem
exactly and the first couple of chapters are just the author going through and showing, with actual evidence, how this way of thinking and behaving is harmful and just plain wrong.
hasbrochem OP wrote
Reply to comment by BrowseDuringClass1917 in I've been reading alfie kohn's "the myth of the spoiled child" by hasbrochem
you'd have to read the book and it challenges exactly what you're saying with actual evidence not just popular thought
hasbrochem OP wrote
Reply to comment by mofongo in I've been reading alfie kohn's "the myth of the spoiled child" by hasbrochem
this is just one little snippet, I'm only a couple chapters in and the whole thing has been great and helping me in trying to rethink what I'm doing and why. highly recommend this for anyone who works with kids in any way.
mofongo wrote
Nice quote! Thanks for sharing!
SpiritWolf wrote
Reply to by hasbrochem
This is the sort of thing that makes me crazy. My daughter is 7 but mature. I can see the school from the back bedroom of my house. I could watch her from my house enter the school. Yet no students are allowed unless accompanied by an adult. I hear so many stories of walked to school at 5, 6, 7 to the other side of town "when I was a child". Yet, she can't go even though she begs she is old enough.
Don't get me wrong. I would panic as much as the next parent of "has she got there safe", but this tight control of you are a bad parent for letting them out to roam for 2 minutes needs to stop.
Blackbeard wrote
Reply to comment by !deleted30 in How Inuit Parents Teach Kids to deal with Anger by Catsforfun
Haha that's about the look I get from my kid after a minute or two of trying to explain life. You're right though, kids rarely ever get to hear "You're right" from parents. My kid told me the other day, "It was your fault Daddy" and my first instinct is: You don't get to say that, you're a kid. Thankfully I stopped before I actually said that, and admitted that indeed I had been in the wrong.
Also, I have the hardest time keeping a straight face whenever my kid says "Fucking." It's just so innocent and adorable, and I want to laugh so hard! We try so hard to watch our language, but that just sneaks out sometime, and he knows it's not a good word so he always pauses for a moment before saying it, and then usually uses it as an opportunity to list off the other impolite words :)
Blackbeard wrote
Reply to by hasbrochem
I like that this article discussed how children are denied access to public spaces. I often lament this, particularly because I like to go out as a family! My father in law often talks about growing up in Spain, and how children were always brought along to the bars/pub/restaurants, they were fairly free to run around and be kids. Now, I feel so rebellious just bringing my kid to a decent restaurant! I get the impression that my kid is expected to be almost unnoticeable otherwise it ruins everybody else's meal. I had a friend who tried to take their infant in a carrier to a quiet bar during the afternoon with an outdoor patio where they intended to sit. They were denied service because they couldn't have a kid at the bar. We have been fortunate to find a local pool hall that serves beer and is family friendly. My kid loves to run around playing the various games, playing with the balls at the pool table, and playing shuffleboard. It's one of the only times I feel my kid is really actually welcome in the space, and free to behave like the little kid they are.
Blackbeard wrote
Reply to comment by !deleted30 in How Inuit Parents Teach Kids to deal with Anger by Catsforfun
I think apologizing to your kid is one of the best things we can do as parents. It shows we aren't perfect, that we make mistakes, and it models to your kid that it's important to be a big enough person to admit that. Adults don't often apologize to children, at least not genuinely. Kids may hear "sorry, I know you want that toy but we aren't going to buy that." They don't often hear adults say, "Sorry, I lost my cool and that wasn't fair to you, and it's something I am trying to work on." That's realistic! We weren't raised in an Inuit culture, and anger is very much a part of the culture we were raised in. I feel like the best we can do is try to model healthy ways of expressing our anger, and acknowledge when we fail to do that ourselves.
Blackbeard wrote
I found this article incredibly informative and helpful. My natural inclination is to let my kid do what they feel they need to do, so long as it's not putting them into some immediate danger, of course. I try to be cool and let them say what they want without fear of punishment, scolding, or shame. This is a hard world to navigate for an adult, I can only imagine what it's like for somebody with almost no clue on how to behave in the broader world. The part I have the hardest time with is letting them be free to be themselves, while I also helping them understand the society we live in. What is acceptable with me, in our house, does not always get the same reception by society at large. While I am willing to accept their refusal to do something at home, and understand that defiance is perfectly normal, their preschool teacher doesn't necessarily feel the same way (though it is a Montessori preschool, so there is greater freedom than in most traditional schools). I love the way the Inuit culture treats children, but our culture just isn't the same, and that's rather challenging.
MirrorBot wrote
Reply to Is Anxiety to Blame for Missed School? by Catsforfun
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spacersparanoid OP wrote
Reply to comment by !deleted2159 in I want to offer a great present for my friends who are going to become new parents. Which one from these travel strollers do you think is the best choice? by spacersparanoid
Thank you so much! I'll take what you wrote in consideration :)
bulbasaur wrote
Reply to by !deleted8445
Aw, I was hoping for an update on that Canadian family that didn't even tell people their baby's assigned gender at birth.
MirrorBot wrote
Reply to by !deleted8445
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spacersparanoid wrote
Reply to Let Children Get Bored Again by ziq
Boredom is one of those really common things that, partly because it’s so common, is rarely investigated with much rigor. But a study by researchers in Canada aims to change that. In fact, they’ve come up with a definition of boredom.
According to the study, boredom is “an aversive state of wanting, but being unable, to engage in satisfying activity,” arising from failures in one of the brain’s attention networks.
MirrorBot wrote
Reply to Let Children Get Bored Again by ziq
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An_Old_Big_Tree OP wrote
Co-parenting seems like the best way to raise kids in the present society, insofar as we participate in it.
ArchiveBot wrote
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TorBot wrote
Verification, PM me if the URL is broken.
ziq wrote
Reply to by !deleted30
Apparently even Peppa Pig is problematic
notACopy wrote
Reply to by !deleted30
The Curiosity show also for adults....
JayGrym wrote
Reply to comment by ziq in by !deleted8217
The first one I played was GTA 2 and all I ever did was kill cops via exploding cars lol
ziq wrote
Reply to by !deleted8217
I played the original GTA and GTA2 when I was a teenager and running over cops became my lifelong hobby.
Blackbeard wrote
Reply to I've been reading alfie kohn's "the myth of the spoiled child" by hasbrochem
I like this book already! Teaching kids "grit" is really in right now, and while I think that's a valuable trait, purposely creating difficult situations for kids is definitely the wrong way to go about it. Kids are going to experience enough trouble and challenges in their lives, and if you're supporting them and encouraging them to work through it, that's what's going to be important. I feel like that quote about setting them on fire sums up the whole argument pretty damn well.