Recent comments in /f/Parenting
edmund_the_destroyer wrote
I suspect there is a big overlap between the ideas on that page and the parenting information from Alfie Kohn - Unconditional Parenting, The Schools Our Children Deserve, and so forth.
Kohn's parenting goal is helping our children develop their own moral code through reason and live by it. His education goal is group, hands-on projects on interesting topics to help children learn, enjoy learning, and understand the relevance of learning.
Instead, most parenting guides and advice seems to be, "Someday I want you to be a strong, independent person with their own sense of values. But for now, sit down, shut up, do what I tell you, and think what I want you to think." Most education fails to teach because lecturing doesn't work for most people, and most education fails to engage kids because there's so little focus on the relevance of what is being taught.
existential1 OP wrote
Reply to comment by isvarahparamahkrsnah in Babies May Be Drinking Millions of Microplastic Particles a Day by existential1
It very well may be. Ive seen things in the past that suggest the same thing happens with plastic bottles, especially if left in direct sunlight.
isvarahparamahkrsnah wrote
I drink all my water from plastic bottles :/
Is that harmful or what
86944 wrote
Not really sure why anyone thought that plastic and hot water would go well together.
bloodrose wrote
So, microplastics isn't just consumer choice. It isn't just the baby bottle or the water bottle. It is also our plumbing. A large amount of our plumbing uses plastics that break down just a little as the water goes through them. Even if you got rid of every plastic vessel in your home, you'd still be getting microplastics in your water. And even if you said, "no, I'll do rain catchment", you still have a problem that most all rain catchment systems are made of plastic. :(
I've looked at this a lot because I have a daughter and i'm concerned that the plastics are making puberty happen even younger and I'm trying to save her from that. It's sooo bad. We're killing ourselves on this plastic that exists everywhere and it's getting into our bodies. Just ugh.
Vulgar_Soda wrote
“I think the important learning is never, ever, ever use a microwave oven to heat anything with a plastic container,”
Oops.
An_Old_Big_Tree wrote
Seems to me to be more about a relationship to knowledge.
That when you're told which answer to choose you know which answer is correct and don't need to think further on it, rather than the element of choice being removed being the reason you don't think further on it.
Those who no know go know.
Vulgar_Soda wrote
Implications for gaming too. The days of hand holding are (or should be) over.
existential1 wrote
Reply to comment by zddy in Twitter thread about education by bloodrose
That's a good book, read it a couple years ago. Can't recommend often enough.
zddy wrote
Reply to Twitter thread about education by bloodrose
Yes!
Got done reading Anarchist Education and the Modern School and one of Ferrer's main takeaways was that children aren't empty and need to be filled, they are smarter than we know and need to be encouraged to express themselves.
Crazy how this idea is still ignored on a mass scale.
another_i wrote
Reply to Raising children with "logical and natural consequences" and "positive discipline". by LucyParsonsRocks
I also don’t praise kids for doing the right thing - that gets them used to doing things for extrinsic reasons instead of intrinsic reasons.
Def. think this is an better path than what the umn post recommends. Great article and good insights. Thanks!
whatnever wrote
Reply to comment by bloodrose in What if our parenting tactics are mirroring abuser tactics? by An_Old_Big_Tree
I sometimes have to deal with the ways she negatively impacts me and I am having a hard time navigating that. Example: this morning, she got in the way of me putting on my shoes.
I recognize that pattern of social/communication problems. You'd do well reading Alfie Kohn's "The surprising gift of anger" as well as a certain parenting blog that I'm going to link once I finally recall it.
avbeav wrote
This is sweet and useful, and also a good mindset for protests / actions:
Should your efforts bear fruit, you’ll have a dozen or so children show up, and your Plan A will pan out. But you should have Plan B ready — just your child and a couple of staunch friends. If this is the situation, be prepared to roll with it as if this was exactly the best outcome.
And if no one turns out at all, you should be prepared for this. Address any disappointment your kid might express, but don’t show any disappointment of your own. Just tell your kid, now you can just relax, not worry about a big party, and just celebrate family style.
cronal wrote
Reply to by !deleted23934
Sure but could you explain what's this all about, lol?
celebratedrecluse wrote
some interesting stuff here, although:
Transition takes four to five years (at least).
seems like a strange generalization based in binary normativity, everyone's goals and journey are going to look different.
bloodrose wrote
The majority of substantiated maltreatment charges in the child welfare system are for neglect, which typically means issues like lack of food, child care, or weather-appropriate clothing
weather-appropriate clothing
Well, I'm fucked. My little ice-child loves the cold and never wears weather-appropriate clothing.
black_fox wrote
Reply to Beyond the So-Called First Thanksgiving: 5 Children's Books That Set the Record Straight by An_Old_Big_Tree
the link doesn't work anymore, so i found the current one and archived it. it seems to be formatted a little oddly, still readable though
tripe wrote
Invoking #TraumaSurvivors from this article because you feel invalidated is actively offensive to real trauma survivors.
7b48dfb784360de35598f8dd3 wrote
Reply to comment by wendellstamps in Celebrate Your Kid’s Transition. Don’t Grieve It. by An_Old_Big_Tree
shut up
bloodrose wrote
This is so powerful. I had read years ago that positive reinforcement was just the other side of punishment. So we strove not to do any positive reinforcement with our kid. We basically try to just live with her, and explain things to her. This article is a good refresher for me. I sometimes have to deal with the ways she negatively impacts me and I am having a hard time navigating that. Example: this morning, she got in the way of me putting on my shoes. My back has been out a lot lately (I am seeing a chiropractor and going to physical therapy for it). The last time it went out was being in a bad position tying my shoes. I tried to tell her she was in the way without pushing or telling her what to do but I still somehow upset her. I wonder if it felt like name-calling to her...thanks for posting this, it gives me something to think about.
Nuktuk wrote
Great piece! (and a nice easy read)
The part about positive reinforcement is something that I haven't seen talked about much. Seems pretty obvious how blatantly manipulative it is but it apparently few people have a problem with acting this way.
Pop wrote
As if there weren't enough reasons to avoid having a baby
mofongo OP wrote
Reply to comment by !deleted7175 in Is there a easier way of handling non-disposable diapers without washing dozens of them daily? by mofongo
Thanks for your reply!!
I made this post a while ago, the twin are already born and turned 3 months old recently. We got gifted enough disposable diapers by friends and family that I still haven't had to buy any. At this point, I don't think I can convince the miss's to use diapers.
The elimination communication bit is really interesting and something I something I would like us to apply but I got told "you do it" which isn't very productive because I spend most of the day at work.
existential1 wrote
It's almost like human mothers and children co-evolved...
Unlike cows, goats, and all the other mammals out there humans like to drink the milk of.
ruin wrote
Reply to Taking Children Seriously (TCS) and Anarchy by RichOldWhiteMan
Thanks for posting. Somewhat related, Popper has many interesting takes on science and medicine as well. Along the lines of Kuhn and Feyerabend.
More on topic, all of the No!: Against Adult Supremacy zines are up on the library and worth a read.