Recent comments in /f/Parenting

ruin wrote

Thanks for posting. Somewhat related, Popper has many interesting takes on science and medicine as well. Along the lines of Kuhn and Feyerabend.

More on topic, all of the No!: Against Adult Supremacy zines are up on the library and worth a read.


edmund_the_destroyer wrote

I suspect there is a big overlap between the ideas on that page and the parenting information from Alfie Kohn - Unconditional Parenting, The Schools Our Children Deserve, and so forth.

Kohn's parenting goal is helping our children develop their own moral code through reason and live by it. His education goal is group, hands-on projects on interesting topics to help children learn, enjoy learning, and understand the relevance of learning.

Instead, most parenting guides and advice seems to be, "Someday I want you to be a strong, independent person with their own sense of values. But for now, sit down, shut up, do what I tell you, and think what I want you to think." Most education fails to teach because lecturing doesn't work for most people, and most education fails to engage kids because there's so little focus on the relevance of what is being taught.


bloodrose wrote

So, microplastics isn't just consumer choice. It isn't just the baby bottle or the water bottle. It is also our plumbing. A large amount of our plumbing uses plastics that break down just a little as the water goes through them. Even if you got rid of every plastic vessel in your home, you'd still be getting microplastics in your water. And even if you said, "no, I'll do rain catchment", you still have a problem that most all rain catchment systems are made of plastic. :(

I've looked at this a lot because I have a daughter and i'm concerned that the plastics are making puberty happen even younger and I'm trying to save her from that. It's sooo bad. We're killing ourselves on this plastic that exists everywhere and it's getting into our bodies. Just ugh.


An_Old_Big_Tree wrote

Seems to me to be more about a relationship to knowledge.

That when you're told which answer to choose you know which answer is correct and don't need to think further on it, rather than the element of choice being removed being the reason you don't think further on it.

Those who no know go know.


zddy wrote


Got done reading Anarchist Education and the Modern School and one of Ferrer's main takeaways was that children aren't empty and need to be filled, they are smarter than we know and need to be encouraged to express themselves.

Crazy how this idea is still ignored on a mass scale.


whatnever wrote

I sometimes have to deal with the ways she negatively impacts me and I am having a hard time navigating that. Example: this morning, she got in the way of me putting on my shoes.

I recognize that pattern of social/communication problems. You'd do well reading Alfie Kohn's "The surprising gift of anger" as well as a certain parenting blog that I'm going to link once I finally recall it.


avbeav wrote

This is sweet and useful, and also a good mindset for protests / actions:

Should your efforts bear fruit, you’ll have a dozen or so children show up, and your Plan A will pan out. But you should have Plan B ready — just your child and a couple of staunch friends. If this is the situation, be prepared to roll with it as if this was exactly the best outcome.

And if no one turns out at all, you should be prepared for this. Address any disappointment your kid might express, but don’t show any disappointment of your own. Just tell your kid, now you can just relax, not worry about a big party, and just celebrate family style.


bloodrose wrote

The majority of substantiated maltreatment charges in the child welfare system are for neglect, which typically means issues like lack of food, child care, or weather-appropriate clothing

weather-appropriate clothing

Well, I'm fucked. My little ice-child loves the cold and never wears weather-appropriate clothing.


bloodrose wrote

This is so powerful. I had read years ago that positive reinforcement was just the other side of punishment. So we strove not to do any positive reinforcement with our kid. We basically try to just live with her, and explain things to her. This article is a good refresher for me. I sometimes have to deal with the ways she negatively impacts me and I am having a hard time navigating that. Example: this morning, she got in the way of me putting on my shoes. My back has been out a lot lately (I am seeing a chiropractor and going to physical therapy for it). The last time it went out was being in a bad position tying my shoes. I tried to tell her she was in the way without pushing or telling her what to do but I still somehow upset her. I wonder if it felt like name-calling to her...thanks for posting this, it gives me something to think about.


mofongo OP wrote

Thanks for your reply!!

I made this post a while ago, the twin are already born and turned 3 months old recently. We got gifted enough disposable diapers by friends and family that I still haven't had to buy any. At this point, I don't think I can convince the miss's to use diapers.

The elimination communication bit is really interesting and something I something I would like us to apply but I got told "you do it" which isn't very productive because I spend most of the day at work.