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bloodrose wrote

This is so powerful. I had read years ago that positive reinforcement was just the other side of punishment. So we strove not to do any positive reinforcement with our kid. We basically try to just live with her, and explain things to her. This article is a good refresher for me. I sometimes have to deal with the ways she negatively impacts me and I am having a hard time navigating that. Example: this morning, she got in the way of me putting on my shoes. My back has been out a lot lately (I am seeing a chiropractor and going to physical therapy for it). The last time it went out was being in a bad position tying my shoes. I tried to tell her she was in the way without pushing or telling her what to do but I still somehow upset her. I wonder if it felt like name-calling to her...thanks for posting this, it gives me something to think about.

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whatnever wrote

I sometimes have to deal with the ways she negatively impacts me and I am having a hard time navigating that. Example: this morning, she got in the way of me putting on my shoes.

I recognize that pattern of social/communication problems. You'd do well reading Alfie Kohn's "The surprising gift of anger" as well as a certain parenting blog that I'm going to link once I finally recall it.

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Nuktuk wrote

Great piece! (and a nice easy read)

The part about positive reinforcement is something that I haven't seen talked about much. Seems pretty obvious how blatantly manipulative it is but it apparently few people have a problem with acting this way.

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