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bloodrose wrote

When I do yell, I apologize to her, and I try to explain why I yelled.

This. This is the most important part. No one is perfect. You will lose your cool sometimes.

The day before yesterday, I raised my voice. It wasn't at my child, but it was in response to an action of hers, and was a general ranting. I came home that night and sat her down and talked to her about it. I explained that I get upset when she asks for things after we've said goodbye and I have opened the door to leave. I want her to ask her stay at home father for things after I've said goodbye. I said that it is not her fault and I shouldn't have been cranky with her. And she got it. She said "Next time, mommy, I'll ask for what I want before we say goodbye." Which wasn't what I wanted. I wanted her to understand I was out of line. But she also understood why. She didn't feel rebuked and she didn't cry, but she offered to help and came up with a solution.

I guess what I'm saying is if you lose your cool, have respect for your children and apologize. If you'd do it for an adult, no reason not to do it for your child. And they might just wind up emotionally smarter than you. :)