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zoom_zip wrote

thanks, this is good advice

one of the weird things about parenting is trying to understand contextual power and remove it from your vocabulary

there are lots of things that you could say freely to other people that when taken in the context of speaking to a child have inherent implications of authority

if you (as an example of another person) do something i think is shitty, i can say “don’t do that.” and that doesn’t come packaged with any obligation for you to listen to me. i can’t enforce you to follow that instruction, it’s just a way for me to express that i’m not happy with that action in my presence. but if you say that to a kid, it comes packaged with inherent authority. “don’t do that, or else…”

it shouldn’t, but it does.


throwaway wrote (edited )

Sure, good to hear it made some sense.

You're right, it's not easy. The healthiest - and trickiest - way to go, in my experience, is growing and understanding your Self. Children have a hard time learning from your words, but they take a bit of every little corner of your person from the youngest age. If your kid has difficulties letting themselves be consumed by one thing at a time, for example - drawing, playing or whatever - and has a tendency to get bored quickly, talking to them about it really won't do much good. Instead, chances are that you'll find the same tendency within yourself.

Of course, unsolicited parenting advice is the worst, so I'll stop myself here hahah. All the best, and good luck with the kid!