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celebratedrecluse wrote

This has really thrown my plans out the window. I thought I would be planning further ahead with medicine manufacturing. Now all fucking hand sanitizer has been taken from every store, and to make my own I have to distill vodka up to 140 proof because higher proof liquor isn't even in stock at the liquor store anymore. All this just to keep the most vulnerable people around me safe. How are we going to develop the plans I had for manufacturing insulin, naloxone, testosterone, estradiol, epinephrine, all these things seem so far away right now because of this shit. 18 months of social distancing is 18 months of not being able to have the free school i was planning on.

breathe

Ok. I'll have to double down on the digital aspect of what I was going to do. Raddle becomes all the more important. I have a lab now, and can run experiments with feedback from partners remotely. This is going to be difficult, and time is much shorter than I thought it would be, but now there are huge numbers of people who see the same urgency, who I am organizing with on and offline. There's potential for huge strikes, and capitalism is in crisis. The people I love are telling me they love me, in ways some of them haven't before, because they can't express it physically, deepening my sense of solidarity and knowledge that I am cared for.

exhale

I keep going to one end and another in my head. I woke up and there was tears on my pillow, I guess I was crying in my sleep. This whole situation is activating me AF. If anyone else keeps feeling all this shit too, know you're not alone.

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