Submitted by lettuceLeafer in OnLettuceLeafersAuthority (edited )

Should quite working on the farm soon. I told them I felt I did myfavor and I was going to quit soon. Couldn't give a definitive date bc I said I would stay until my coworker was on vacation. Should be 2 -3 weeks tho. Idk, doesn't really make me happy if that sounds weird. Idk, some just young conservatice jackass will just end up doing my job and be way more of a prick. Idk, feels like the only one who gets to feel better is me. Don't really belive in authoritarian harm reduction by the right person but still.

More of the punishment I recieve from failing and spending way too many resources on my old housing project is that I'm arround so I get asked to take care of sick family members I don't particularly like. My mom has been in the hospital for a while she is finally getting dischared which is a bit disapointing as I'm gonna get stuck having to do more work caring for her who I don't particularly like who is almost never nice to me. Idk, shouldn't ask for favors if I don't wanna do these kinds things idk lol.

I think I just need to start relentlessly bullying myself so I pack my bags as quick as possible and stick arround until I start getting stuck again. Idk, kinda shitty to ditch my brother but by the time I leave in a couple weeks my mom was wanting to move away and take my brother anyway. so not my problem ig.

the uh fucking one guy from the umbrella moies seems like a vibe tbh. You would know who it is if u know the basic cast and what I think is impressive. Havn't watched the show at all and don't really intend to tbh. Also its super interesting how tv shows glamorize being a jackass. It would be super cool if I could be just a queer vegan jackass and have people wanna hang out with me. But the reality is if ur not nice to people people don't wanna be arround you. In reality these jackass characters would never have friends or people who like them except other jackasses.

It seems kinda fucked up the say but like the whole leaving afater getting attached again to faming is really hard. Yeah yeah really woe is me lol. But it really is like just ripping yourself from a unique set of living with many anarchist elements of community and resposibility and autonomy and just dropping it and trying to re fit into society where u allready really struggle to work in. Idk, vegans often think many farmers are lying when thye say they don't love them as family on some level.

While I think most this wouldn't be true but for mysefl I'm pretty detached and uncaring but there is still some connection when u care for young animals, talk to them or interact on a regular basis. Its pretty fucked up but the actual slaves are the closest I've had to friends for a while. Idk, I'm pragmatic enough that I can care about someone like a child to prude over then send them off to the auctionhouse and analytically talk about how well or unwell the butcher will like them or just force the milker on them no matter how much they cry and go back to pruding on them.

Not the victim or anything just a weird feeling is all. ALcohol still makes my stomach hurt like hell. Which is probably a good thing cuz I def would be drinking way way more.

Don't really want an apartment or could get way anyway. So I guess Imma just pack light and be a ritsy air bnb hobo till I figure out a different plan. Its actually afordable if u live in a shared housing airbnb do do monthly rentals. Which is quite nice

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