Recent comments in /f/MentalWellbeing

flingwingin wrote

do shit you actually like doing for once.

problem is not bodily energy or brain chemicals (in some isolated way), it's motivation and passion

also use your not caring to help you do shit you actually wanna do... it starts with not caring about work, and it can become not caring about going to jail or freezing to death if you let it :)


fool wrote

If suicide seems your only option... Then you have nothing to lose by doing anything at all, only to gain.

As such, you are free from the shackles of life, to do anything at all, because what's the worst thing to happen... If you die then no loss, it's what you wanted, if you find a new lease for a life you didn't know you had, then bonus.

If there is no future, there is nothing to hold you back.

  1. Make some preparations and see how long you last in the wilderness.

  2. Work out a destination and try to get there even if it means walking for six months or rafting across the ocean.

  3. Forget working and dance on the street all day everyday (or some other ridiculous pursuit).

  4. Ride the bus and become the eccentric homeless person everyone in town knows.

  5. Kill all humans! (But first come up with an irrefutable definition of human)

  6. Go live on a mountain top and become a Sage.

  7. Go live in a forest and cultivate sage.

The main point is, that no matter what you do, no matter who you fail your responsibility towards, you would have done that anyway by dying. So you might as well throw life to the winds and see what you find.

You may never return to your old relationships or you may be in a better place to make amends in the future, but you might as well have one last spin of the wheel of life rather than entering oblivion

(I think... I don't know what happens when you die, it could be amazing and I'm distracting you... but it'll be still be amazing later... I hope... You could be the saviour in the afterlife and I prevented you from fulfillment of your destiny... Oh no... But that's not likely... I hope)



Styx wrote (edited )

Sorry I should have been more specific. You should avoid uppers, which includes sugar and caffeine, as well as coke, meth, speed (etc.). It might seem counterintuitive, because you are feeling tired and lifeless, and so an obvious choice would be to use something that gets you on your feet and moving. But in the long term, uppers will tire you out even more and can also lead to anxiety and panic attacks, which you truly do not need in your current state.

As for downers, I specifically meant something like weed and hash. In my experience, they won't 'cure' you, but they can be useful for some momentary relief. Some people also swear by mushrooms and other psychedelics, but I don't have much experience with those.


Kinshavo wrote

Caffeine is a drug , and one of the bad ones, can worse symptoms like anxiety, stomachache and bowel issues (like intestines are linked to mental problems usually

I think we are addicted to caffeine as much we are to sugar, sugar and refined flour are bad for modern diets


Styx wrote

Not being able to get out of bed each day is a symptom of depression*. You definitely need a break to rest. Make sure you eat healthily, avoid sugar and caffeine, and that you get enough sunlight (Vit D could help too). Try to exercise, or at least, take a walk regularly, ideally in nature. To calm your mind, stimulate your sense: use incense, get massages, watch a film/read a book (etc.). Drugs could also help, but they could also exacerbate your state, so be careful with them. If they give you enough kick to enjoy yourself and the things you used to like doing, then go for them. But if they bring you back to bed, then it's better to avoid them for a bit. Get as much sleep as you need (but mind you, actual 'sleep' and not laying in bed watching youtube videos for hours or w/e).

If it's possible, you should quit your job, or at least take a longer break from it. You should also actively seek social interactions (even if you don't feel like seeing anyone), provided you have a group of friends/family whose company you enjoy. If you live alone and, say, you have nice loving parents/siblings/partner, then maybe move in with them for a bit. It helps to have people around, but only when they are sympathetic to your circumstances. If the people are not an option, then get a cat (or similar).

Your body is telling you that's it's unhappy with how things are going, so try to consider its needs and the kind of changes in your life that would appease it. And please don't be hard on yourself. It's winter, we are entering the third year of a pandemic, the whole world is crashing down and there is virtually no hope that things will ever improve. It would be very weird if all this hasn't taken a toll on you.

  • I don't want to argue here about a 'diagnosis.' I just want to suggest that what you are going through might be worse than you think.

fool wrote (edited )

It's may not be for everyone, but I think a little nihilism and reasonable hope can help.

Hope is good for resilience, but if your hope out-ways reasonable expectation, then it can become too much and you'll become paralyzed with "depression".

This is where nihilism comes in, if you have no expectations of "progress" you don't have a false hope. With no expectations that anything needs to happen, anything that is accomplished is exceeding expectations.

You are then free to whatever action you're interested in, because there is no expectation that anything will come of it.

It is reasonable to hope for nothing.

Then you can embrace life how you wish, absurdly, existentially, or however you choose.

If you reach the point of the void calling, then I can point to new outlooks of how to dance with the void.


friendly_raddler wrote (edited )

eventually you’ll get fired but by then you won’t care. hopefully at some point you’ll light something big on fire, at least that’s what i’m holding out for. or maybe you’ll just get another job and repeat the cycle. try not to do any opiates or alcohol, it’s bad enough as it is, the rock bottom is not as bad if you’re sober and healthy. i should’ve asked details about you first to know your situation. can’t give any advice worth anything without knowing, but i’m not the one to give good advice anyways, just some type of comforting or at least distracting small talk.


annikastheory wrote

Yeah I must have been in a fiery mood when I wrote my initial comment and my response to yours. Probably came across more argumentative than I should, sorry about that. You are 100% correct that

"it's just bad parenting" argument is pretty harmful

I don't really think "it's just bad parenting" which is probably how I came across. I think hopefully I have clarified that in my other comments but communication is hard.


ShadesPath wrote

Which is why I think it is no mistake that the DSM finds that this disorder is more prevalent in households that are "harsh and inconsistent".

I think you assumed that I was undermining that point when I wasn't or wasn't trying to. I was saying that ODD was about responses to authority and that said responses can lead to a kid being a danger to themselves. What causes ODD is less important than the ODD itself because, for one, it's difficult to change a kid's home situation and it's hard to determine whether or not the parenting is the actual problem. A lot of times, the problem is that the kid has underlying issues and the ODD is merely the interaction between those issues and the authority adults use to get the kid to do the very thing that the kid has issues with. This is ultimately why the "it's just bad parenting" argument is pretty harmful because it is way more complicated than that but the focus has to be on treating whatever issues the kid is suffering through so that they don't end up hurting themselves. By no means is this a rejection of it being used to force behavioral conformity onto children though because, by the end of the day, that's a lot of how the diagnosis is used.


bloodrose wrote

I mean, I also agree with you that rebellious kids get over diagnosed and overmedicated. My kid legit has ADD and sometimes shows ODD and I have not gotten her medicated or diagnosed. My plan if she has problems is to first seek out accommodations from the school. If that doesn't work, I'll find alternate schooling. I don't want to make my kid accommodate the school. And I think that with children, we often force them to fit the world rather than making their environment fit them. And their environments sometimes include horrible parenting. :(


Vulgar_Soda wrote

This topic is somewhat relevant to my life right now, since my mental health has been in the gutter lately. Earlier today, Mom told me she feels like she has "lost me." I've been socially isolating. Haven't been my normal, functioning self. How can I be? I am in pain almost daily. The root of my mental anguish is not being able to afford medical care for (wait for it) ... my exploding genitals. This isn't a brain issue. This is a poverty issue. I have no money for the right doctors. The cheap docs threw antibiotics at me and when they failed to fix my junk, they shrugged and told me to go somewhere else. I tried getting a job for insurance, and the job made me feel worse. Slaving away for scraps, so that I can cure this thing that is preventing me from slaving away from scraps. Very neat setup, society. I might be depressed. I might have ADHD or whatever. I might be CRAZY (anarchists tend to be labeled as such). What's a psychotherapist gonna do? Recommend breathing exercises and mindfulness, and if I'm lucky, a happy pill? I already have caffeine and cannabis, thanks; mere band-aids for the gaping wound in my wretched soul. Psychiatry can't make the world stop shitting on people. Forgive me if I remain skeptical of an institution that until recently, like 30 years ago, stopped categorizing gayness as a mental illness.

I appreciate anarchist critique of psychiatry. I may be miserable, but at least I know I'm not the problem (other than being an asshole lol).


annikastheory wrote (edited )

I think your first comment above touches a lot on what I am trying to say.

I guess I did imply that I think it isn't real which isn't 100% what I think. Merely that the diagnosis is intentionally misused to suppress kid's natural response to a shitty situation. Which is why I think it is no mistake that the DSM finds that this disorder is more prevalent in households that are "harsh and inconsistent".

To phrase that differently, yes obviously its a real thing that has close ties to ADHD but like all diagnosis it can and is often used to oppress people, though (like many diagnosis) it can also be a helpful tool.

I perhaps worded my response a bit strongly but I have seen a lot of this shit first hand as an admin in mental health and it really kind of gets me going.

Thank you for your perspective (I can come across as "all or nothing" occasionally).


bloodrose wrote

I've been thinking about psychiatry and psychology a lot lately. I have been going through the back catalog of the "You're Wrong About" podcast while working out at the gym and while cooking at night. They've covered some old psychiatry doozies from not that fucking long ago. They talked about repressed memory therapy from, you know, the 80s.

Not that long ago, therapists were basically saying if people felt bad, it was because they had repressed bad memories from childhood. And so, they would induce hypnotic states and get you to imagine bad scenarios/memories. Then, if you didn't feel better, they'd make you keep doing it because you must not have uncovered the right one. They basically implantend trauma into their patients.

Prior to this shit, they were doing other awful things to people.

We're sitting here talking like "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" is the bomb. Will we have podcasts in 40 years time talking about how abusive CBT was? How it just forced people to suppress their feelings and gaslight themselves? Because that's what I think it does. I think it is harmful, too.

My brother went to therapy because he felt guilty about having an affair. But he didn't tell his therapist that was his problem. He said he couldn't connect with his son. So the therapist was trying to get him to remember shit about our dad. So he called me to ask about our dad. And I'm like "dude, we met him twice. Both times mom told him to leave us alone after that. He said nothing interesting and then mom lied about him. You had no more interaction than that." What I didn't add was "and dude, you can't bond with your son because you've never spent time with him because you were working late (having an affair) instead of being at home. Duh." Fucking waste.


bloodrose wrote

I have a lot of ADD in my house: me, hubby, kid, our family members (some of whom don't see it in themselves but we sure as fuck do (like, no, mom, it's not normal to throw yourself into hobbies so hard you physically harm yourself)). Soooo...we have seen a lot of ODD. only becomes a problem when people pathologize it. For a brief period, my kid would say "no" whenever asked something. It was the default response. Even if it was "hey, want a cookie?" Anything started as no. Then she had a little think about it and then the real answer would come. So, we learned to wait a moment after no and give her a chance to think. She learned eventually to have the think before saying no.

I call myself a slow-moving boat because I can't change courses quickly. Basically, I am ODD if I'm already doing something/on a path/course. I have to stop, slow down, think and re-picture everything that is in motion in order to accept the new change. My mom throws absolute fits if she is trying to be on time somewhere and you ask her to wait for you.

So, I don't think it isn't real. I think it is a problem if you refuse to understand each other and work within the boundaries the other person has. I think growing up my mom and I never had anyone understand why we weren't cooperating and so we never had the chance to learn the slow down and re-picture everything skill.


bloodrose wrote

Like your kid hates you and won't obey because you are a shitty parent and you have the gall to give them (the child) a medical diagnosis.

I saw a therapist for a brief period who specialized in ADD. And so she had a lot of child patients. Had a whole room of toys for the kids to play with after sessions while she talked with their parents and everything. She told me that a lot of times the kid is not the problem and the kid is what gets the family into family therapy. There was some psych term for this but I forget what it is. But, like, yeah. She would get "bad kids" brought to her and have to explain to the parents how much they were fucking up in a way that could actually help the kid. My understanding is not all therapists know how to differentiate. 0_o