Recent comments in /f/MentalWellbeing

gracklegrackle wrote

I think what is difficult about this is that right/wrong is a very fixed binary, and the only ways to explore further is through consistent conversation. This is also something that, in my experience, requires a great deal of vulnerability. Are the people open to talking about it further? If not, it sounds like maybe these people are criticizing you in unfair ways. I hesitate to say abusive, since I’m working with no context, but if whoever these domineering critics are don’t want to talk further, then that seems a bit fucked up.

I know for me, one of the hardest things to learn was knowing my truth. As somebody who has always dealt with bad brain shit and “extraordinary experiences” (ie psychosis, hearing shit, etc), I became very susceptible to abuse and people generally trying to take an authority position and manage my life. It was difficult, but after a great deal of work, I began to learn to identify my truth and autonomy in fucked up situations.

I don’t know, maybe I’m missing the point though. These things are very dependent on their context. I hope you’re ok, and that you’re figuring things out. If it gets bad and confusing in a scary way, feel free to reach out if you want to talk about it any further.

You got this <3


cyberrose wrote

The context is important. When it's about personal stuff: Being right or wrong is unimportant as long as you feel comfortable with it. When it comes to social stuff, you can take the bigger context into account. Reflecting your standpoint in relation with society can give you little more clearness. Your standpoint and your "right" can be completely different to other ones "right" because your history is completely different.

In general it gives me a lot of self confidence and clearness to know why my standpoints or views differ from those of others. If somebody tells me I'm wrong I may confront them with things they don't see or just give a fuck without questioning myself. But that's not always possible to the full extend, in situations where this is not that clear I take this opportunity to reflect about it and include it in the bigger picture of myself for the next time.

Another thing which is quite important to me is being graceful to myself. As the others also said: You don't have to be always right. You are definitely not always wrong. It's just your view of the world and as long as you are okay with yourself that's very okay. If not it's - again - a starting point for reflection and reorganization; or at least could be if you take that opportunity.

Thinking dialectically is quite a help for me there. (even though quite some people don't want to hear that I guess ^^)


zoom_zip wrote

can’t really answer, but some thoughts that might help you get your head around it:

  • self-fulfilling prophecy
  • it’s okay to be wrong. everyone is wrong. this is how we course correct. we recognise it; think about it; reflect; and change. giving people a hard time about it isn’t always helpful.
  • it sounds like you are reflecting, which is the best thing you can do. but it’s also a lot of pressure to be put into that position by people who berate you constantly. that’s not fair.
  • everyone always thinks their way is the right way. we can’t all be right all the time. even “majority consensus” doesn’t prove right. the majority of people think cops are cool and good. parents tend to think their way is the right way and if their kid doesn’t go their way then their kid is wrong. how much does their opinion matter to you?
  • if this is as pervasive as you say it is, maybe instead of reflecting on the truth of their words, reflect on how psychologically damaging this will be to your self esteem.
  • words hurt. why are they trying to hurt you?
  • putting your kids down is not an effective way of getting them to see your POV.
  • do you have other people who you respect who you can talk to about specific instances, to get an understanding of how an outsider perspective sees the situation?

solaslux wrote

Consider the behaviors you're being told are wrong. Are there common elements? Without an example, I consider it difficult to provide a better bit of advice.

If you think there is a mismatch of expectations - your actions or behaviors don't align with their imposed goals for you - consider the event as something to ponder, but try not to become obsessed.


IForgotToSayGoodbye wrote

Reply to comment by MHC in Draft health plan by MHC

Sorry I missed seeing this. Hope this can still be useful. I just found the feedback page for this, and notice the closing date was yesterday.

A few points I noticed at a glance.

Purpose of Document - it's good for a document to state what the aim of the document is.

Scope of Document - to be clear what isn't in a document, so to know to look elsewhere. Should the schedule be included, I don't know, there is no scope.

Paragraph numbering - numbers do not look so nice, but make it easy to reference sections clearly, for critique or discussion.

Order of information - This one's maybe more of a me thing, but I didn't feel all the statistics add that much. I would have put the findings as an Annex, either at the end or in a separate document. But this comes back to not knowing the purpose or scope of the document.


Ashy wrote

Reply to by terpene

Well I'm learning to live with it now and I'll live a unconventional lifestyle if that's what it takes to make healthy creative use of my brain in this insane world.

love to see it :)

best of luck!
if i might ask btw, how so are you gonna be living unconventionally? just out of interest :3


MHC OP wrote

Reply to Draft health plan by MHC

"Curious if you were wanting any sort of serious discussion of the plan?"

Yes, I did get engaged in that, with its authoring agency. My main concern was about poor readability. Also it seemed to me like a list of services. I couldn't find any scheduling therein.

"I'm not sure if this was supposed to be released in its current state, but I am happy to discuss."

Well, it's Web-published. How does that document compare with descriptions of services, that you're familiar with?


IForgotToSayGoodbye wrote

Reply to Draft health plan by MHC

... strange place for something like this.

It's trying to provide statistical proof for the course of action for the government to take... Looks like I'd expect.

Were you after suggestions for improvement?

No squirrels in Australia, maybe some more squirrels would help... Or maybe include a picture of a Quokka.



bloodrose wrote

Reply to title by Ashy

I was with you on this image until #4.

Like, I believe it is a valid treatment to change your environment instead of medicating if possible and desired. I also think that looking for physical problems is legit (thyroid problems look like depression and potassium deficiency can cause depression, too!).

However, #4 is straight up "you didn't eat the right magical foods, so you are broken" and is just using food as medication with the extra added purity test/victim blaming that goes along with "wellness" and diet culture.

But good luck on your unmedicated journey. Getting off brain meds was one of the best things I ever did for myself. I hope it is a positive experience for you like it was for me. If it is not, don't feel bad if you want/need medication, too. <3 Good luck!!


Vulgar_Soda wrote

Reply to comment by throwaway in I did my dishes today :) by moonlune

People who hurry over everything are often either lost in castles of the future, or stuck somewhere in a better past

Something about this hit me just right. A rushed life is a life lived on another's time. I'll take my time with my afternoon tea. There is no other moment but the now.


Ashy OP wrote

Hey, I hope you're doing okay?

aw thank you! i'm doing well c:

i haven't taken it since i made this post and honestly i feel just more alive and healthier

maybe that would be a good idea though, i'll continue to talk to my therapist about stopping and potentially finding a new psychiatrist...i really just, don't want one at all, but just for the 'piece of paper' that says i don't need em anymore, and so they stop prescribing it. maybe it can just be a thing where i go one time, idk

thanks for the hugs :) sending hugs back


cyberrose wrote (edited )

Reply to by !deleted13038

Following is just my personal experience and I'm not sure if it works for others.

During a period of psychoanalytical therapy (which did not help too much), I read some critical psychology stuff. This helped me to understand how my "shortcomings" where not just my "fault" but influenced by society. Also my reactions and self view was influenced or even produced by this relation. This gave me the opportunity to just give a shit on many social norms since they are not mine. I still have them in me and when I feel guilt, self doubt, ... I try to sit down and reflect that. Try to figure out how this feeling was produced and if it is really important to myself. Very often I discover it's not the case; either because I "over reacted" and my emotional reaction was not relative to the trigger, or I just discover I don't give a shit about it. In the end the discovering of this gave me the insight I have to be mild to myself; the pure knowledge that the society and it's norms are a part of my problem is very important BUT you always have to keep that in mind and proof yourself in every situation this is again the case. This mildness to myself helped me to get on with me. To see that my actions and behavior are not worse than those from others. I'm still far away from loving myself but I get along with me and did not lose the hate on the stuff putting me in terrible positions and states of mind.

It also helps me to switch contexts. If you know stuff fucks you up it's hard to feel good. If you have the option to break up with this stuff and start over new its often worth the risk.

And as /u/Tequila_Wolf said psychedelics may also work. For me it's a boost for self reflection and I'm benefiting quite some time from it.


IForgotToSayGoodbye wrote

Reply to by !deleted13038

Another method to try might be Narrative Therapy; tell the story of your life to yourself, either aloud or write it down. Reflect on the story and see how you can learn from it. Pay attention to the good and the bad. Then take the approach as though you're an outsider and the guidance you would give to someone else. This allows you to sort through you past and re-focus on what you want to do. You are the person most suitable to advise on your self interest.

The following terms also relate to the approaches ïdiscussed by others, so you may find useful, Resilience, Reasonable Hope, and Strengths Perspective.

I really like the concept of Reasonable Hope, to just find something small to cling to as a coping mechanism; "on Saturdays I like to run, the security guards haven't caught me yet, maybe soon I can go running with the police, my new caltrops design really seems to doing well".

If nothing else, your comments and posts are appreciated here.


Tequila_Wolf wrote

Reply to by !deleted13038

Some thoughts:

Build on what you have. If you don't have anything, start there. It can take a long time to find a stable elsewhere to be. Some people aren't lucky enough to get there, but you seem like you might manage.

Learn to become conscious of your unconscious habits, your knee-jerk reactions, your intrusive thoughts, the things that set you off in bad directions, whether in your own head or as actions directed at others, then find ways to intercede in that process and direct yourself elsewhere.

And for me, psychedelics help a lot to boost these processes. Totally made the difference between feeling like I could handle what I was carrying and not, in a way that made it possible not to spiral out with lack of energy, or worry that the process was already doomed by my headspace.