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DaisyDisaster wrote

A few things I've learned about apologizing:

  1. Exclude the word "but", it's a sign you're about to try to justify what you did.

  2. Don't give an explanation unless asked. Hopefully you aren't apologizing just to get yourself out of trouble, and if an explanation immediately follows your apology it comes off as just trying to dig yourself out of a hole and nothing else.

  3. Tell the person it won't happen again and that you'll do better, or that you'll at least put in your best effort to prevent it from happening again. Actually mean this or don't bother.

  4. Don't ask for forgiveness. This one is just a personal preference of mine, but when people ask for forgiveness it feels like putting pressure on someone to do something they aren't obligated to do. It's just kind of manipulative, imo. If it's a forgiveable offense, they'll do so when they're ready.

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An_Old_Big_Tree wrote

Sincerity throughout is obviously also important. Doing the work you can to understand how they must be feeling. To really hurt some person, and especially a friend, is something with weight that I can't describe with simple words.

Saying you're sorry, Offer to explain things if they want to know anything, be honest and open about it if they do. They may need to understand why you did certain things so that they can be safe, and so that they can be at peace.

Asking them how you can make it up to them is another meaningful part of the process. Living up to the weight of that offer can be very much, so it's not to be made lightly.

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dele_ted wrote

Don't expect them to accept your apology immediately. Give a sincere apology, and then give your friend time to think about it or take some distance from you. Try speaking to them after a few days if they haven't contacted you.

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