Submitted by czolgosz420 in MentalWellbeing

So liberals are equivalent to fascists on the inside. Superficially nice but they’ll side with their own selfish putrid fucking genocidal interests as soon as shit gets inconvenient. Fucking scum of the earth, right? And doesn’t that imply they need to be treated the same way?

Well here’s the thing, I’m really really not comfortable with the idea that like 90+% of the people around me need to be [redacted]. Including my partner and my mom and probably myself if I’m being honest.

I’ve seen comparisons of the liberal-fascist relationship to that of the enabler and the abuser. And I think you’re right about that. But then I need to treat almost everyone around me like an abuser or an enabler (and I guess enablers are equivalent to abusers, which means I should hurt my mom). I’m vegan too, if I went outside I could probably punch everyone I see in the face and justify it with reference to veganism or anarchism. And I might start to enjoy inflicting harm just for its own sake. Almost everyone is a target as far as I’m concerned, if I’m really trying to be consistent with my beliefs.

I can’t go through life with that kind of unrelenting hostility running through my head all the fucking time. I don’t care if you think I’m a privileged asshole or a complacent liberal or a pick-me vegan or whatever, I’m just trying not to lash out at everyone around me and have a heart attack and die, ok? I get all kinds of shit for not being mean enough to liberals. I’m not going to leave my partner and I’m not going to start abusing her just because you think that’s what liberals and carnists deserve. But I know intellectually I agree with anarchists, broadly speaking, hierarchies need to be eliminated, the rich need to get eaten, and my ability to be the kind of person I want to be is stymied by my own selfish desire to not [redacted redacted redacted].

I think anarchists don’t trust me because I don’t share their burning desire to, for example, [redacted] the CEO of [redacted] and [redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted] in his own blood and vomit. I wouldn’t actually enjoy that. I’d watch it out of curiosity, and I’d be glad we got rid of the guy, but I either wouldn’t enjoy it or I’m scared of the idea that I would. I’ve never been in a fight and I would definitely lose. That’s why I don’t punch fascists, because they’d get up and stuff my head through the wall, but I guess that’s the kind of sacrifice anarchists expect me to make? Do I really have to risk bodily harm for you at every opportunity? You expect that from everyone?

You can probably tell I’ve been watching angry people talk shit at each other online instead of reading theory or history. I’ve been doing this for over a decade, looking for people talking shit about liberals like me. The part of me that hates myself wants to feel validated. And liberals should hate themselves, right? They should all get OCD over having the right political opinion, that’s what they deserve (this is why I don’t seek treatment, although I also rationalize this by vaguely appealing to anarchist critiques of the mental healthcare system).

I’ve done a little mutual aid work and organizing with local leftists, mostly anarchists, they don’t act like this in person, but I hardly say anything around them because I’m afraid of slipping up. And now all my anxiety’s coming out at once for a disinterested audience. I’m sure some of you want to put me up against a wall and shoot me just so I’ll shut the fuck up.

What do you want to do to liberals such as myself and the two other people in my life? We’re all fascist-adjacent, right? We don’t deserve love or sympathy or compassion. We barely deserve medical treatment. Whatever you’d like to do to me, I’d like to do it to myself now and just get it over with. I can’t live with myself and the rot goes too far deep and I’ll never be able to.

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Ant wrote

Just take your time and keep learning. You have a lot of misconceptions that will clear up if you're willing to genuinely work at things.

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anarresinfoshop wrote

You have a knack for distilling what I took paragraphs to say, into two sentences. I admire people who can do that!

At any rate, I think this is great advice for me, and a lot of us who might read this. We all can benefit from taking time to learn from each other, and stepping back from emotional knee-jerk responses to an overwhelming world.

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anarresinfoshop wrote (edited )

So liberals are equivalent to fascists on the inside

No, liberals are not equivalent to fascists. This is a misconception common among leftists, which anarchists tend inherit along with the rest of the leftist baggage they pick up.

Liberalism creates an environment in which fascism can grow-- but, as you can see from all the bickering over the J6 and J8 fascist coup-attempts/election-protests, liberals and fascists are definitely not "the same". In fact, they are pretty clearly different groups, which are in increasingly visible conflict right now.

That said, anarchists critique liberal ideology and fascist politics, both of them, for a lot of the same reasons. But that doesn't mean that they are the same, or that the approaches to them should be the same in all contexts. That is actually bad strategy in a lot of cases, because it will result in missed opportunities.

Everything that follows from this ITT, devolves from this basic misapprehension, and adds to it some personal hangups around need for social approval, social anxiety, a fixation around violence, and resentment of others due to those issues. I think it would be helpful to seek out emotional therapeutics (meditation, talk therapy, whatever works for you) to address some of that, and then just try to relax in the future when you seek out doing these mutual aid projects, or other anarchist things.

Just be yourself. Nobody who you should care about, is going to rage at you because you made a mistake or didn't understand something. Yes, some people are jerks, and sometimes they have (imo undeserved) clout in anarchist spaces (or the rest of the world.....)...but fuck that; there's plenty of reasonable people who would be happy to meet you and work with you and play with you, if you get out there and do your thing. Plus, if you're relaxed, you'll be in the best possible mindset to be absorbing and making use of any positive/constructive critiques that come your way, which will allow you to be the best version of yourself that you can be as you continue your life journey in this bizzare, fascinating world we live in.

I hope you have a good rest of your day!

edit: changed a typo

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rattledlove1139 wrote

I'm not good at these words and things others do that better but i just think about this part

That’s why I don’t punch fascists, because they’d get up and stuff my head through the wall, but I guess that’s the kind of sacrifice anarchists expect me to make? Do I really have to risk bodily harm for you at every opportunity? You expect that from everyone?

Answer is no i think, lots of "easy" talk about anarchy is in violent takedown but that's not all need. Need also people provide for each other, keep each other safe and fed and clothed, have discussions and work together.
Sometimes there is fight if means to keep safe from other people but also sometimes to keep safe from environment or cruel system because homeless in dead winter or can not afford food anymore. People can teach each other things like make food make clothes first aid and care for each other.

When it comes to fascist confronting, violence most effective choice to make shut up and run away, i can not either because I am disabled frail and vulnerable, but still I could have a part to keep them away from safe places, to take away their time, waste their efforts. Still not all is safe i know this but direct hit is not only thing to do you know?

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crapshoot wrote

As basically-still-a-liberal, I felt this ^^;

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