Submitted by czolgosz420 in MentalWellbeing
So liberals are equivalent to fascists on the inside. Superficially nice but they’ll side with their own selfish putrid fucking genocidal interests as soon as shit gets inconvenient. Fucking scum of the earth, right? And doesn’t that imply they need to be treated the same way?
Well here’s the thing, I’m really really not comfortable with the idea that like 90+% of the people around me need to be [redacted]. Including my partner and my mom and probably myself if I’m being honest.
I’ve seen comparisons of the liberal-fascist relationship to that of the enabler and the abuser. And I think you’re right about that. But then I need to treat almost everyone around me like an abuser or an enabler (and I guess enablers are equivalent to abusers, which means I should hurt my mom). I’m vegan too, if I went outside I could probably punch everyone I see in the face and justify it with reference to veganism or anarchism. And I might start to enjoy inflicting harm just for its own sake. Almost everyone is a target as far as I’m concerned, if I’m really trying to be consistent with my beliefs.
I can’t go through life with that kind of unrelenting hostility running through my head all the fucking time. I don’t care if you think I’m a privileged asshole or a complacent liberal or a pick-me vegan or whatever, I’m just trying not to lash out at everyone around me and have a heart attack and die, ok? I get all kinds of shit for not being mean enough to liberals. I’m not going to leave my partner and I’m not going to start abusing her just because you think that’s what liberals and carnists deserve. But I know intellectually I agree with anarchists, broadly speaking, hierarchies need to be eliminated, the rich need to get eaten, and my ability to be the kind of person I want to be is stymied by my own selfish desire to not [redacted redacted redacted].
I think anarchists don’t trust me because I don’t share their burning desire to, for example, [redacted] the CEO of [redacted] and [redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted] in his own blood and vomit. I wouldn’t actually enjoy that. I’d watch it out of curiosity, and I’d be glad we got rid of the guy, but I either wouldn’t enjoy it or I’m scared of the idea that I would. I’ve never been in a fight and I would definitely lose. That’s why I don’t punch fascists, because they’d get up and stuff my head through the wall, but I guess that’s the kind of sacrifice anarchists expect me to make? Do I really have to risk bodily harm for you at every opportunity? You expect that from everyone?
You can probably tell I’ve been watching angry people talk shit at each other online instead of reading theory or history. I’ve been doing this for over a decade, looking for people talking shit about liberals like me. The part of me that hates myself wants to feel validated. And liberals should hate themselves, right? They should all get OCD over having the right political opinion, that’s what they deserve (this is why I don’t seek treatment, although I also rationalize this by vaguely appealing to anarchist critiques of the mental healthcare system).
I’ve done a little mutual aid work and organizing with local leftists, mostly anarchists, they don’t act like this in person, but I hardly say anything around them because I’m afraid of slipping up. And now all my anxiety’s coming out at once for a disinterested audience. I’m sure some of you want to put me up against a wall and shoot me just so I’ll shut the fuck up.
What do you want to do to liberals such as myself and the two other people in my life? We’re all fascist-adjacent, right? We don’t deserve love or sympathy or compassion. We barely deserve medical treatment. Whatever you’d like to do to me, I’d like to do it to myself now and just get it over with. I can’t live with myself and the rot goes too far deep and I’ll never be able to.
Ant wrote
Just take your time and keep learning. You have a lot of misconceptions that will clear up if you're willing to genuinely work at things.