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El_Burrito OP wrote

Thank you for your penultimate paragraph haha, that's something I definitely resonated with (not discounting everything else you said). I would love to be able to tell myself "You know what, fuck this shit, it's fucked anyway" and just do whatever it is I really want to do.

I think diagnosing myself was a huge part in my self reflection, but ultimately hasn't really helped me in the long scheme of things.

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flingwingin wrote

I think diagnosing myself was a huge part in my self reflection, but ultimately hasn't really helped me in the long scheme of things.

Yeah. I shouldnt posture like i'm some enlightened untouched-by-DSM self-therapy god or smth. I was suuuper into self-diagnosing and reading psychology theory when i was younger, but I never really had an urge to do it professionally thank god so i ended up coming to the opposite side, which is that the diagnoses suck azzzz, and can hinder you recovering if you identify with it too hard. E.g. i've self ID'd (and been diagnosed by a therapist and recommended to go to a big city to get tested fr) with high functioning autism, and for that they basically say "that's how you're born and you cant do shit except cope". Well the more I come to know myself, it's obviously not anything like that, i'm a lot better than where I was, and it's obviously many factors but tied up in family life, culture, trauma, and basically a lacking/fucked up philosophy of myself and the world and my place in the world. When u stick with a definition it can be used to say "thats just how I am". I'm kind of extremist about this, but I think really most mental illness is just problems of coping - both adaptive and maladaptive - and of how we see value, what "self" is, and things like that.

Anyways, through and out :) gain clarity with it, but dont let it hold you down in pessimism

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