Submitted by jus74hu3m4n in MentalWellbeing (edited )
I ask this because I am the designated other in my present country concept. Even though I was born here and have citizenship, the mere fact that I am categorized as 'other' never made me feel like I bbelong.
In the past I would do performative acts of self-hatred in order to prove the exception to be accepted Now that I'm older and feel like a fool, I know I avoid interacting with most people becauae of that past indignity.
I'm now in place where I don't have to interact and be subjected to the gaze of people who will never see me Human, but hobbies, journaling and drawing are no longer working.
I tried joingon up with a local work study group AAPRP, but had to bail due to constraints of my job.
I know I feel alone and have been alone due to that past hurt, but how do you deal with the longing for connection with others but the fear of interacting with others.
Cognitive dissonace sucks
Edit:Spelling
SJWarCleric wrote
I've thought about this a lot for my own situation. I don't have much in the way of solutions, but I have often thought that, if I were able to move somewhere else, even though I'd be othered as an outsider, it would be more comfortable/bearable than being othered in the place I was born.