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__0 wrote

Dealing with otherness for my self has been, partially trying to see the way otherness exists in the defined categories, if you weren't labeled as "other" would you still feel out of place within a category?

It's interesting how many times when things are structured like this how many edge cases there are, so many things and people, that are categorized one way but belonging to or intersecting many categorizations without being acknowledged...

I've always felt like categories have felt limiting, As if we were to accept a jigsaw puzzle to be finished just because everything fits together, not noticing that two tiles were switched around.

For me I've always felt foolish looking back at thinking about how much I've tried to belong to things, and kind of see a bit of humour in how natural the impulse to belong to a culture or society that refused to acknowledge it's existence as a collective fabrication.

The idea of cultural consensus, and identity. has always been a double edged sword. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a sense of purpose the brief times I felt I belonged to an "in-group", but I've always felt that trying to fit in can feel incredibly limiting, and when people are competing for social capital within a group, participating or sharing space in that group can feel stifling and exhausting.

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jus74hu3m4n OP wrote

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I've accepted and acknowledge that I have no desire to belong if it means exsisting means existing within a limited context.

It's just having to deal with the Human need for socialization , but having that experience be....how to phrase this without coming off as a misanthrope....dissappointing(?)

The current organization of society regards me as a threat even when I'm not one,but masses of Humans will accept any shortcut to assuage their own feelings of uncertainty.

It's tiresome and infuriating, yet if I react to that indignity with anger, I am considered the problem.

I can accept my current social death, but I'm not happy about it.

How am I supposed to live if I am prvented from doing so by those who benefit from my suffering?

I'm not even sure if what I'm saying makes any sense, but it's how I've always felt

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