can’t really answer, but some thoughts that might help you get your head around it:

• self-fulfilling prophecy
• it’s okay to be wrong. everyone is wrong. this is how we course correct. we recognise it; think about it; reflect; and change. giving people a hard time about it isn’t always helpful.
• it sounds like you are reflecting, which is the best thing you can do. but it’s also a lot of pressure to be put into that position by people who berate you constantly. that’s not fair.
• everyone always thinks their way is the right way. we can’t all be right all the time. even “majority consensus” doesn’t prove right. the majority of people think cops are cool and good. parents tend to think their way is the right way and if their kid doesn’t go their way then their kid is wrong. how much does their opinion matter to you?
• if this is as pervasive as you say it is, maybe instead of reflecting on the truth of their words, reflect on how psychologically damaging this will be to your self esteem.
• words hurt. why are they trying to hurt you?
• putting your kids down is not an effective way of getting them to see your POV.
• do you have other people who you respect who you can talk to about specific instances, to get an understanding of how an outsider perspective sees the situation?