Submitted by FDSisthewokest in MentalWellbeing

One of the myriad manifestations of patriarchy is it’s existence in the masculine ego as a defense against anxiety. At its core, masculinity itself is nothing more than the psyche’s attempt to conquer the fear of being dominated. Thus the subordination of femininity serves to validate the aggression generated when masculinity insists upon itself as the ego’s best defense against the fear of being dominated. A movement toward mental health that comes along with feminism is the replacement of this patriarchal defense mechanism with a motivation to achieve the pleasures associated with embracing vulnerability as part of a quest for experiences of emotional intimacy. Nothing arouses the fear of being dominated more than the state of being vulnerable to suffering the emotions of the ones we love. That is why the patriarchal defense mechanism is so intricately connected to the separation of emotional intimacy from sexual activity- because the dynamic of treating women like sex objects instead of treating them like full human beings is only tenable in a context of patriarchy. Eventually our human global society will grow to see the day when feminist themed dating practices and sexual norms will be ubiquitous. As our fear of being dominated will be gradually phased out by the implementation of radical vulnerability and the flourishing of the joys of close friendship, feminism will make so much headway that dedicating excessive time and effort to score sex with a casual partner will become more and more alien to our newest cultural sensitivities. Anywho, let me know if you’d like any changes. Thanks! Best Regards, Pasquale

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bloodrose wrote

I love critques of patriarchy! :) Myself, I don't see the "why is patriarchy?" question as really all that answerable. A lot of theories abound. Elaine Morgan in The Decent of Woman argued that during our evolution, the changing of the direction of the vaginal canal from dorsal to ventral caused missionary sex to be occur which exposed the female primates belly and thus appeared as violence (as most animals protect their bellies). Thus we evolved with sexual violence. I've heard birth envy thrown around before. I theorize that it's probably a combination of a few opportunists gaining ground and then expanding it until it became culturally codified and spread like an internet meme that will not stop. I imagine it is something much more complicated than one sinle explanation like yours or the ones I mentioned. It's probably a combo of everything.

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celebratedrecluse wrote

What do you think about the historical/material theories, which focus on the rise of agriculture and mass society, domestication, etc? I find all of that very compelling, personally it is what drove me to consider the deep green critiques more seriously and engage with them intellectually more.

i think birth envy is very apt in particular here, because it's a great way to capture what disturbed incipient male elites during proto-agricultural and early agricultural societies. Women had far more influence and direct presence in the early apparatuses of social reproduction, and so that had to be controlled socially somehow, and in the context of agricultural logic/societies and these newly powerful men, their approach to one matter or another all falls into a familiar toolkit: domestication, subjugation, rhetorical/linguistic manipulation, false consciousness, etc

But also, some of the ideas you have brought up, are very interesting and new to me; I never thought yet about an evolutionary argument before, from the feminist perspective. Perhaps that does have an impact, there is certainly a lot of sexual violence in various species throughout the world as well so it seems to, for lack of a better way I can think to put it, go beyond the anthropocene sociality to some degree.

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IForgotToSayGoodbye wrote (edited )

Eventually our human global society will grow to see the day when feminist themed dating practices and sexual norms will be ubiquitous.

Ooh, when do we get to the steampunk themed sexual norms... Goggles are mandatory and all that. Or pirate themed, with eye patches and giant feathered hats. /s

Sorry, maybe you've made a revolution within your mind, but I like to talk crap.

I think you still have some steps to go on your journey, there seems to be some real aggression that needs to be worked out.

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celebratedrecluse wrote

great post!

soapbox: all lattice of oppression is a reaction, it is through the continual reaction to subaltern self-organization that oppressors become "reactionaries"; they are reactive, defensive, of what is seen by them to be a social source of stability or safety. I think the ego, as a psychological construct and experience, is an individualization of the internalization process that you describe well.

Eventually our human global society will grow to see the day when feminist themed dating practices and sexual norms will be ubiquitous.

What makes you think this ubiquity is inevitable?

Nazi era Deutschland destroyed a lot of trans and queer history, for example. entire institutes and community centers, developed during the previous decades, the first of its kind in the world in many ways...all of it basically wiped out by the nazis and then the whole country was practically destroyed by the war. We don't have a lot of that research anymore, and whole communities were erased, sent to horrifying concentration camps, or compelled back into hiding for a long time. So, things can at least locally backslide dramatically given a bad context, that much seems difficult to dispute.

What hope might you offer, to support your claims and push back on my narrative? I'd like some hope, please. :p

As our fear of being dominated will be gradually phased out by the implementation of radical vulnerability and the flourishing of the joys of close friendship

With intepersonal abuse so prevalent and unaccounted for generally, what if the change you identify (which I do think you are right, it is happening, within certain cultural space)... is also problematic, to the extent that abusers take advantage of these social norms to hurt people. That has just been very relevant to me recently, and random other person I speak to or interact with recently. So it's on my mind, of course

feminism will make so much headway that dedicating excessive time and effort to score sex with a casual partner will become more and more alien to our newest cultural sensitivities

I don't know, I know plenty of women who are alright with sleeping with people more casually, and I'm not so sure I'm opposed to it or think these women are being unhealthy, internalizing patriarchy, or anything. I know you didn't say that directly, that's an additional inference that I'm making from our conversation, not you. Anyway, I try to form long-term relationships where possible and desired, but I'm also kind of non-monogamous. Not that this is relevant for the last year or so, nor will it likely be relevant in my life for the next year or two given the state of vaccines where I am.

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