So I’ve been casually lifting for a few years. Recently I’ve felt like I’m becoming reckless and it’s getting out of hand. I should just stop as I obviously don’t want to get caught but I get the urge to every time I’m out and no matter how stressed I am during/after I keep doing it. I’ve only been stopped twice and both were probably 2+ years ago. Luckily the stores never called the police and I’ve not had any problems returning to them.
I know it’s stupid because I KNOW I should just stop and I feel myself being reckless and I’m getting major anxiety and paranoia around it but it feels like an addiction. I don’t need to do this and I can easily afford everything I take but I get a high when I lift and just don’t seem to be able to stop. I don’t think it’s kleptomania as it is still a rational mind process and there is some level of thought going into what I want/take. But at the same time I don’t feel in control.
Does any of this make sense? If anyone has felt the same or just has any advice generally it would be much appreciated.