Submitted by Commonlifter69 in Illegalism (edited )

Planning on lifting a 6000$ bike from rêi soon, scouted a few days ago and realized that they don’t even click the locks shut half the time, and employees seem like your typical clueless stoners. How safe am I to take it off the racks and wheel it out? Any chances of police investigation?

Edit: succeeded

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lautreamont wrote (edited )

Are there yuppie condos or a university near your place? If so, get a wireless angle grinder from the hardware store, and use it to get even better expensive bikes from the bourgies. Do it at around 4-5 AM when everyone's sleeping and cops are gone eating donuts near the end of their shift.

Then return the grinder to the store and get your refund. No bike lock or chain is going to resist an angle grinder, especially with those ultra-thin blades that'll cut through any steel, and as far as you don't get caught in the act that's a safer way to steal.

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Loundrel wrote

As much as I hate yuppies, bike theft is a truly shitty thing to do to a person. Also, if you steal a bike off a random bike rack, you don't even know that the owner is a yuppie - it could be someone who works in the yuppie neighborhood but commutes from their non-yuppie neighborhood by bike. Maybe they've been bike commuting for the past 15 years and finally saved up enough to get a really nice bike.

That's not a hypothetical - I know a decent number of people who fit that description. They're all just broke artists/musicians living in shitty apartments and punk houses, who have nice bikes because all those expensive components actually make their lives easier and aren't just status symbols.

Anytime you think you're stealing some yuppie's eco-bling status symbol, there's a good chance you're actually stealing the primary mode of transportation for someone who truly needs it and can't afford to replace it.

It's really not that hard to steal ethically - just stick to corporations. Nobody is harmed that way and pretty much all corporations deserve to be stolen from.

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lautreamont wrote (edited )

Yeah I know. I could have nuanced my statement. In many areas like in cities where biking is still somewhat marginalized, stealing a bike is a pretty bad thing to do. There are upscale places tho where stealing one of their expensive bikes wouldn't have much foreseeable bad consequences.

I don't think there are absolutes, even for this matter. Yuppies especially the weekend biker types, tend to be despicable brats and they'll use their German cars instead of bikes for transportation. It's a status thing for them, not a need.

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Loundrel wrote (edited )

"There are upscale places tho where stealing one of their expensive bikes wouldn't have much foreseeable bad consequences."

As I said before, there are a lot of non-yuppies who commute by bike to jobs in yuppie neighborhoods. Every bespoke hat store, cafe with $12 lattes, Whole Foods, and crossfit gym is staffed by people who they don't pay nearly enough to live in the neighborhood, so they commute, often by bike. Some of them, such as multiple people I know (as I already said), are lifelong bike commuters who have, over years of replacing parts and fine tuning, made themselves super nice custom'd out bikes that are probably worth quite a bit.

If you see a really nice bike on a rack in a yuppie neighborhood, you have no way of knowing if it belongs to some yuppie who bought it new and has never even touched an allen wrench, or if it belongs to the person who made their $12 latte this morning, and who built their bike from a bare frame 8 years ago and has been gradually upgrading it since, and who depends on that bike for everything.

Unless you know of a surefire way to identify the owner of any random bike on the street, you're running the risk of SERIOUSLY screwing over someone who doesn't deserve it.

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LoveToLoot wrote

Very high probability they investigate. That's a significant loss. Wear a good disguise and be prepared your pic is going to end up somewhere.

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Commonlifter69 OP wrote

I’m ready for that. Got a disguise of clothes that I never usually wear that most of my friends don’t even know I own so this should be a victory. I’ll keep you updated.

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LoveToLoot wrote

Good luck. Try not to let the cameras get a good look at your face.

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Commonlifter69 OP wrote

Went today and it seems like they locked the bikes up again. Very disappointed. Since I'm desperate for a bike I'm going to look into learning lock picking or maybe getting a pair of wire cutters.

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[deleted] wrote

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Commonlifter69 OP wrote

Nah lol thing is the rei is actually easier than walmart when assessing the situation. This means that the risk to price ratio is actually extremely low compared to walmart. I've devised a foolproof plan that involves a few friends, and I'll have a great excuse even if I get noticed in the store. I've always wanted really expensive things, stuff that my parents would never be able to afford to get me on a regular basis. This is the reason why I lift in the first place.

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