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quality_shit_post wrote (edited )

A little bit of fraud and a little bit of theft.

You see... I have been at this job for years. I started at the bottom and worked hard. Came in early and left late. Always leave later than the boss... As time went on they trusted me more and gave me more critical work. I kept grinding day in day out. I would get promoted and I would start the cycle all over again.

Well, I eventually was asked to work with computers. It took me years to get here and then it took many more years to learn how these computers work. You might think this is one of those Hollywood story lines where you siphon off a micro penny and no one notices. Those stores are just that; they are only stories to entertain. Trying to pull that off in real life would take more time and knowledge than it is worth.

Anyhow, back to my plan. I continued to work hard and make everyone feel like I was the hardest worker. I was not a hard worker. I just stayed late and made it look that way. Then the company wanted me to start traveling to different clients overseas. Once I started traveling I would get to know a little lady friend in each country. I am ashamed to admit it but I used love like a weapon. I would go on to marry about 12 ladies. Once we were married I had my new spouse open a business and a business account.

The business accounts were key. Once one business was open I waited with glee for the next marriage and next business. I would then have the first company issue shares to the second company. In America you call it a holding company. I would do this with each company buying shares of the next company. The first company would buy shares from the only company registered in the US. You see... this is the best way to shield your income and hide it from the tax man.

Looking back I could have gotten away with only 10 marriages and 10 companies but this work hard ethic actually worked it's way into my life and so 12 it was.

This is where the real money was made. I was moved over to accounting but I still kept all of my computer access. I was the main person who would call all the clients and confirm all orders, invoicing, and billing. Early on I came up with the scheme to break up each order into 1000s of small orders. The key was to have as many transactions as possible. When a company wanted an order of 500,000 widgets I would break that up into 80,000 orders and the company would pay a total invoice at the end of the month.

This is where you have to be careful. Some companies would balk at the 1000 page invoice. These companies you just had to change and leave it that way. But most companies did not care. As long as they received their 500,000 widgets they could care less. These are the companies that after a few months you could then introduce the plan.

Finally, the grand plan. Starting with 500,000 widgets, you would get 80,000 orders, and about 1 in 10 orders I would add in bogus small costs. Couple pennies here for tax, another few pennies for shipping charge, even more pennies for extra labor or material that was defective that my company had to fix. At the end of the month with just one client you would have 5000-10,000 orders of a few pennies that were now yours. No client was going to read through 1000s of pages for an invoice.

After the client paid you let the money sit in your companies account. Just in case they had some hard working employee who wanted to review ever charge. After a couple months passed you would then transfer all those extra pennies into your first company's account. After that you setup bogus invoices to send to the next company, the next shell company keeps creating bogus charges to invoice the next company. Even if some bright IRS agent caught on it would take them years to work through the jurisdiction from each country.

The only time this did not work was when I had this one monster of a client. He kept calling and asking about all these charges. After a couple months I finally yelled at him, I said "what do you want from me monster?!" And the monster called me back and said "I need about treefiddy". There was just silence. I said "I ain't giving you no treefiddy you goddam monster! Get your own goddamn money!" I ended up just giving him a dollar.

And that is how I stole two fiddy.

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