I've been evading my thoughts for quite some time, to the point that when in I keep doing/reading fluff until 3AM and pass out. I've decided to confront myself. today I had my first "5 min" alone in my head without trying to think of anything:

I put a timer on and sat down on my bed and concentrated on my breathing. it went ok. I'll try to increase the time overtime.

idk what I'm aiming for. If I can keep this up, I'll see what happens.