It’s been a tough month for me. My feet have been hurting almost constantly, we’ve been relocating lots of crap to our new residence, the power’s been out for at least two days (so we had to move food back), the relatives have been difficult… I could go on, but you know what? At least my dad isn’t here. When he’s not at work, he’s laying on his abdomen, watching shit online, being too loud almost all of the time, constantly trying to find new ways to lose weight (which is the least of his problems), being unhelpful even when somebody is obviously feeling unwell, making crappy jokes, making the house fucking stink, and he won’t even admit that he has a problem.
When I was young he would yell at me a lot. He did not physically abuse me, but his volume was awful, and he was either too impatient or too ignorant to use something other than intimidation to ‘keep’ me ‘in line’. I’m not going to go through all of those incidences, so I’ll just mention some that he did from my adolescence to my adulthood: throwing something and shouting because I put it in his way, throwing away a brand new fragrance (‘Fucking godawful fucking shit smell, I can’t believe you fucking bought that’) and eventually claiming that that was accidental even though we all heard him, pushing my mum down in the shower because she couldn’t talk to a cousin (he denies this of course), making jokes when my sister was so exhausted that she collapsed on the floor, being casually misogynous like asking ‘Do we need to buy you some tampons and some panties?’ when I couldn’t tolerate something too spicy, yelling at my mum when she mistakenly turned on a light, throwing things at her when they were in an argument, and more recently he was freaking out about being electrocuted near a shower because the drain was obstructed. Nothing that my mum said made him any calmer. He literally shoved my mum all the way up the stairs to get her out, then implied that he was moving out of state. (He wasn’t lying that time, finally.)
One June 10th he sent this to me because I was not responding to an earlier mail:
‘Please let me know how you are doing. If you would rather talk to a police officer then I will send one if you do not respond.’
Very funny, dad. Well, I guess that this was not a joke so much as passive‐aggressive snobbery again.
And keep in mind that these are only a few notable incidents of his misbehavior. Making a better compilation of his bullshit would be so long and depressing that I suspect that only a few people would read it. He wouldn’t seek counseling or therapy because he never thought that anything was seriously wrong with him (except for his size). He was not even open to the idea of divorce. I think that the main reason why my mum tolerated him was that she’s disabled and he’s always been the breadwinner, but we shouldn’t have to see him for a while now that we’ve received inheritance. Good riddance.