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bloodrose wrote

Well, telling on myself here: I suffer greatly from envy. I am trying to hard not to be a jealous person. I grew up one of four kids and only one of the four was a favored child (I wasn't it). The rest of us tended to fight for attention and resources to no avail. So I grew up with a mindset of competition and when one person gets something, I get less of something. It's still a struggle to be happy for others when they are doing better than me.

One of my cousins has so much family support that she has been able to chase a creative dream that I had. She sucked at it at first. But she still had success despite what I thought to be waay less talent than myself. Every time my husband mentions a new project she's succeeding at, I say "I am very happy for her. She is proof that family support means everything. I will support my daughter as much as her mother has supported her." And I have to say all of that to not feel the envy.

It's a terrible emotion to feel and it really hurts me and holds me back from love and life.

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