Recent comments in /f/Feminism

celebratedrecluse OP wrote

Yeah, you are right about how no jurisdictions' policies are really adequate on this issue, because it is totally unreasonable to expect the criminal justice system to actually serve the interests of survivors in the vast majority of cases, if not in every case. It's just absurd that even if one is able to prove their rapist's abuse beyond a reasonable doubt, in 15% of the country it's still not enough for the state and its officials...it's completely despicable, and I agree that it is very important to remember the kind of inhuman system which perpetrates and protects this type of gendered abuse.

But as we keep informed, and remind ourselves why we fight, I hope as many of us as possible take care of ourselves and our basic needs, including our emotional ones. Liberty comes from love, for one's self as well as for others.

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amongstclouds wrote

I think that one of my exes was a closeted transwoman, but I'm unwilling to seek them out to ask. So I want to make room for the possibility.

I think that one of my exes was closeted

They abused me

This isn't about gender.

Transwomen and someone who I THINK WAS A TRANS WOMAN were abusive.

WHO I THINK WAS WAS A TRANS WOMAN

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Catsforfun wrote

I'm unclear if you are trying to ask me a question.

I think that one of my exes was a closeted transwoman, but I'm unwilling to seek them out to ask. So I want to make room for the possibility. The other was def is, and god I loved her to pieces, but she was very abusive.

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Catsforfun wrote

People are threats to others as a result of their sexual attitudes and behaviors. Not because of their gender identity. I have definitely been sexually abused by transwomen and she had zero concept of how she even broke consent and had zero ability to talk about/process/own up to it, which is more terrifying to me than the actual assaults.

Not that anyone who has ever sexually assaulted/abused me has had the ability to own up to or talk about it.

I can hear that you are really traumatized rn and I feel for you.

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hasbrochem wrote

thanks and it is definitely something needed as it's not always clear which, if any, should be used.

I was going through looking at just some specific states I'm more familiar with when I noticed that trend of using the language of "in the best interest of the child..." and I started looking at more and more states and reading what their laws actually say. that's about when it unraveled for me. as you pointed out, those 7 states are pretty fucking egregious, but what's not said (it's hard with a limited title and space) is that there's not really any place that has "good" options. there seems to be a general requirement that they rapist be convicted (because that happens so easily for those that make it to court in the first place) and there has to "clear and convincing evidence" that they actually raped the other person (cue: "well, were you drinking? what were you wearing?...") and that the fucking pigs do their job in documenting (be great if they could do this without fucking retraumatizing the victim/survivor too) and charging the perpetrator.

I used to think the justice system worked pretty well in the usa, not perfect but not horrible. then I became friends with people from marginalized communities and started working to advocate causes they found important. it's not just a joke, something you can laugh about and go home after. you can't change the channel when the war's at your doorstep. people from marginalized communities don't get to take a break. they can't step away because it's too much to deal with. they have to keep up with it day after day after day after day, the unrelenting hammers, fists and guns of the state, fascists, other conservatives and leftists that don't think they deserve any fucking "special treatment" (because being able to just exist is a privilege).

we're not allies. we're not supporters. we're not champions of a cause. we need to be fucking accomplices through our actions more than out words.

things like this need to be shared, IMO, so we don't forget what it is we're up against and how much more our actions are needed than just our words. thanks for sharing it.

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celebratedrecluse OP wrote

I'm sorry, I know it's very upsetting. Self care is really important though. i didnt know how to put a meaningful CW in the current submission framework, with only a subject, link, and body fields. Maybe in the future we can figure out some way to edit the postmill framework to add an extra field for CWs, which would hide the post until someone opts-in.

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hasbrochem wrote

reading through a lot of those is cringe worthy and rage inducing. a lot of them have clauses and exceptions for granting the rapist parental rights if it's "in the best interest of the child" which we've seen the courts do some really fucked up shit "in the best interest of the child"

I'm glad you shared this but I think I'm going to have to take a break and some aspirin now

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celebratedrecluse wrote

It is, but I also think it has an impact on the market, to encourage a consumption that shapes desire in a direction which fetishizes the unreality of abstract fantasy.

It is certainly not a solution to this problem to simply fetishize existing, real people, like in mainstream pornography for example. but I hope we can try to build a society in which sexual desire is learned, shared and developed in an atmosphere of collective respect and mutuality, rather than individual consumption such as with the dominant existing forms of sex work, pornography, etc. This would shift power to the sex workers, making sex work safer and healthier for the participants, as well as improving the safety and health of social sexuality in general. I think we should put sex workers in the drivers seat of their own lives and livelihoods-- foruntately, everyone can participate in sharing the burden of moving this cultural conversation in the right direction, as an act of both solidarity to, and mutual interest with, sex workers, even if one is not a sex worker. We all benefit from a culture the values consent, not just in sex, but in all aspects of life.

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Lucifer wrote (edited )

Why not create hentai from an Asian female perspective? I'd love to read that stuff.

I mean to be honest one of the things that really pisses me off about hentai manga is the pervasive rape themes and how insanely popular it is with people. It's weird.

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celebratedrecluse wrote

It also deprives sex workers of their opportunities to make a living, as the jobs that remain in an animated industry for sex workers are farther and fewer between, and disproportionately skewing to a different labor pool (animators, voice actors, etc), and thus higher-barrier skillsets (not everyone gets to go to art school & learn how to animate). Thus, a bunch of people basically can't access their line of work anymore. A similar thing happens when pornography becomes free and easily accessible, sex work is clamped down upon and pushed to the periphery, and then jobs in either field are harder to come by, more competitive.. It's the tech-broification of sex work & pornography, and hentai is the cumshot of all those processes.

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