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hermit_dragon wrote

This is a good piece - though it's about Desi culture, it makes me think about how in my life this has extended to also being the 'keepers of etiquette' ie the pressure to keep the 'men' in your life in line, behaving politely, etc. Being held responsible for my (past) boyfriends manners and social interaction as a person-presumed-to-be-a-woman is a whole burden I loathe being coerced into,. Especially since realizing I'm nonbinary.

Boyfriend drunk and rude at a party? Somehow that's your fault/you're responsible/you should have ensured he wasn't/you should have kept an eye on him. He's badly dressed and unkempt? Your fault. That kind of thing.

Reminds me of the whole 'damned whores and gods police' dichotomy - women are either fallen, or the handmaidens of manners, etiquette, and godliness (and white women the handmaids of colonial values and Christianity).

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MHC wrote

As an autistic person, I am always being harangued about neurotypical behavior requirements!

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