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edmund_the_destroyer wrote (edited )

I wish I still had it, but years ago my sister sent me a long PDF on emotional labor. It was a good read, and an eye opener. I had a lot of work to do in that regard, but hopefully I have grown and I have less now.

As a minor point, one thing I've explicitly discussed with my wife is related to our own personality preferences. Ten years ago we split the mundane tasks more or less evenly and she also did the emotional labor (which was ridiculously unfair to her). But she prefers event planning, vacation planning, gift shopping, and so forth over washing dishes, doing laundry, grocery shopping, and cooking. I do not. So now I shoulder the bulk of the mundane stuff so she can do the emotional labor without doing more total work between regular activities and emotional labor than I do.

I mention that in case it's a position other couples can use. And of course it doesn't have to be a man and woman split. If the guy likes putting up Christmas decorations and the woman doesn't care, then she can be the one taking the kids to trumpet lessons or whatever. Edit: or any other pairing, the sex of the partners is irrelevant.

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sudo wrote

10/10 article.

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