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Xylanthius OP wrote

The degree and career part i think would be easy if it weren't for the impossible beauty standards that distract from these pursuits.

it's harder to be beautiful than to be successful. unfortunately as a woman it seems like you are more successful as a beauty.

Am i the only woman with this experience? I'm not sure what other women go through because it seems like something we can't really talk about because it's so shallow.

All the women at my work wear makeup and heels, but i couldn't do that day in and day out. i tried at my last job, and i had to wake up like an hour earlier, and it just sucked. i even got good at putting my makeup on in the car to save time as dangerous as it is, but it's still an added stress not only to mention that that stuff clogs your pores and makes you even uglier. but other women... it's like we aren't allowed to talk about this. we all have to act like we just woke up this way, or even though we spend a half an hour or an hour or whatever with the beauty duty every day, we can't really acknowledge it because it's shameful how shallow it is. i'm not really sure actually what it is... it's all very confusing.

i'm not sure if i'm the only one with this experience though. it seems like it's so easy and natural for other women. are they faking it, or were they just born beautiful, or do i have some kind of mental illness that makes me perceive things as not what they actually are? I'm not really sure if i'm the only one living within this hell.

I'm really glad I learned how to draw because it really helps me deal with this hell my mind traps myself in sometimes. is it my mind or is it the world or is my mind creating the world as i see it? what is real? does anyone know?

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