Submitted by bloodrose in Feminism

It's been one day. One. And already my lefty white male friends are rushing to victim blaming women for actions their government took against them. Like, somehow we appointed those 5 judges. Like somehow we are supposed to overthrow the entire government while also raising their damned children and being paid half their wages. I am so fucking livid. We are under an oppressive structure where we can barely fucking move. Women are over-punished for crimes men aren't even arrested for and somehow we were supposed to overthrow the government in the way they wanted.

It has some big "but what crime did he commit to make the cop shoot him?" vibes. It's disgusting. It's garbage. And I hate them. I am so glad for this pandemic that I don't see them in person. If someone said this to me in person, I'd be going to jail. My husband had the audacity to be calm yesterday. He said "my tik tok is taken over with abortion but I guess I'm okay with it" and I said "anyone who isn't angry is an asshole" and walked away. He almost died. If someone actively victim-blamed in front of me....fuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh

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bloodrose OP wrote (edited )

Also, I'm fucking tired of cis men having hot takes on this shit already. If they aren't actively doing the work, I don't need them sitting in their armchair with a beer pointing and telling me what to do.

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Styx wrote

They have even already found a woman to blame for the leak of that Supreme Court opinion--> https://twitter.com/Angry_Staffer/status/1521819414441644033

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bloodrose OP wrote

I am 1,000% sure it was a conservative who leaked it. I think they leaked it because they wanted to make sure it didn't get watered down. The draft was sitting around for ages and I bet they were starting to negotiate a gentler, more watered-down verbiage. And some right-winger knew if it got out, the right wing jerk faces wouldn't allow it to be softened.

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Styx wrote

100%. You can tell by how they are trying to distract from that opinion by obsessing over who leaked it and how it could get out.

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moonlune wrote

are rushing to victim blaming women

How is it possible to think that and still claim to be leftist? I can't even comprehend.

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fortifiedmischief wrote

How are they victim blaming?? What are they saying? What can they possibly say? (famous last words lol)

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bloodrose OP wrote

OKay, one dude said this:

We keep drawing lines in the sand, they keep stepping over, we draw new lines. We though deep in the ocean, the lines are gone before they can even step forward again. How much does it take to actually force change? When will you rage?

Implying, of course, that since we didn't rage the right way or enough or something beforehand, that we got what we deserved. Sorry our efforts haven't gone over well but it's not for lack of fucking trying.

Then this exchange happened on a friend's post about midterms:

Me: If the Dems do nothing before the midterms, they're going to find the blue 🌊 to be a puddle. We're tired of them using our wombs for elections and then doing nothing for us.
Them:: LOL! So DON'T VOTE! See what happens!
Me: katie holmes miss meadows movie GIF that says β€œare you threatening me?”
Them:: The threat to your bodily autonomy isn't coming from me, lady. Open a newspaper.
Me: Mansplain harder, daddy. I think it's working.
Also Me: 1) Voting hasn't fucking helped me yet.
2) I live in California. Not voting wont hurt me either.
3) I'm considering asking for a refund for all my campaign donations.\ 4)They have had 50 years to do something and they haven't done a goddamn thing.
Also Me: But please, victim blame some more while you're at it.
Them:: Who the hell even knows what you mean by "something"
Them:: <eye roll> I'm responding to your inane comment about not voting in the midterms.
Me: I have a lot of fucking ideas. Just because you're limited in your thinking doesn't mean I am. Also, it doesn't mean the politicians can't think of "something" either.
Also Me: Oh, I'm not voting ever again.
Also Me: Not until they deliver on what they promised me.
Them:: "They have had 50 years to do something and they haven't done a goddamn thing." That's such a stupid, untrue thing to say and I'm at a loss. I guess I need someone to womansplain to me how to talk to someone in hysterics.
Me: Calling a woman hysterical? How fucking charming.
Also Me: I just lost my right to personhood. You'll excuse me if I have an emotion about it.
Them:: Β―_(ツ)_/Β― it fits.
Me: Who the fuck are you?
Also Me: You who get to have personhood. Talking down to a woman who is hurt by the people who promised to do something.
Them:: <eye roll> I'm responding to your inane comment about not voting in the midterms.
Me: You're a bad person. Blocking you. Have the day you deserve.\

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fortifiedmischief wrote

WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
We deserve what's coming because we didn't do enough to stop it from happening in the first place???????? WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

how painful this person's life must be believing they are to blame for every bad thing that happens to them :(

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bloodrose OP wrote

Oh no, no, everyone else is to blame for their problems. Also, everyone is blame for their own problems. ✨✨ Liberal Cis Het Men ✨✨

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tuesday wrote

Them:: "They have had 50 years to do something and they haven't done a goddamn thing." That's such a stupid, untrue thing to say and I'm at a loss. I guess I need someone to womansplain to me how to talk to someone in hysterics.

I want to know what it is that this person is claiming that democrats have done to help protect abortion access. Aside from using it as a mechanic to generate donations?

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bloodrose OP wrote

My husband and I had the SAME reaction/response.

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tuesday wrote (edited )

Here's the thing: they don't care about which constitutional right the right to an abortion is enumerated under. They don't believe in a pregnant person's right to choose so no matter how the government grants it (as a constitutional right, or as a matter of congressional law) they will always fight it. If they pass a law the Supreme Court will overturn it.

The fact of the matter is that the conservative legal project has been wildly successful and the democrats have done nothing to get in the way. There are 70 federal courts without a sitting judge right now. Seventy. There's no good reason why Biden isn't packing the court with pro-life judges. There are plenty. But their constant inaction and hesitancy toward any action (because if they do it then the "Republicans will do it too!" never mind decades of Republicans doing whatever the fuck they want) proves them all to be fucking cowards.

This isn't even mentioning the way that the Dems are currently gunning for an anti-choice candidate OVER one who is more progressive and pro-choice. It's fucking bullshit to think that it's the fault of the people for not voting hard enough.

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bloodrose OP wrote

YES! All of this!!

And this is only one of the things they could have done in that last few decades. They've had so many opportunities. It was all a lie. And now every woman can see it.

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tuesday wrote

liberals are already talking about voting harder and blaming people who didn't vote for Clinton in swing states. Like does Biden not currently have control of the house and senate right now this very second? Also let's lay some blame on Ruth "who better than me" Bader Ginsberg for not retiring because fuck her and her fucking vanity ass bullshit.

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bloodrose OP wrote

Also let's lay some blame on Ruth "who better than me" Bader Ginsberg for not retiring because fuck her and her fucking vanity ass bullshit.

That one really chaps my hide, too. The time they wanted her to retire is the exact same time frame when Obama got an open seat and the Republicans blocked the nomination. She didn't retire because she knew - either because she was that much of a badass or the dems knew they couldn't replace her and told her. But yeah, armchair quarter-backing so they can find a woman to blame somewhere.

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tuesday wrote

oh, naw, I'm being serious. she should have retired during obama's first term. she'd already had cancer twice at that point. by the time people were calling for her to retire she said that there was no one but her who could hold the seat. she was so determined to secure her legacy that she rode out one term too many. it was pure arrogance on her part.

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bloodrose OP wrote

The timeframe she could have done so is clearly before my close following of politics then, so I'll have to take your word for it. <3

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lettuceLeafer wrote

While u Facebook stories are depressing I do get enjoyment of u putting people on blast.

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bloodrose OP wrote

I have a new one from today. I was responding to my cousin about my calls for a sex strike, with this:

Having sex with cis men is life-threatening if you have the ability to become pregnant. Refusing sex should be the minimum. Killing cis men who try to force it on you should be seen as self-defense because sex is now life-threatening.

Homedude comes and says this:

Are you saying women who support abortion rights are going to start supporting gun ownership, at least for women? I'll definitely vote for free guns for women.

I responded with this:

  1. If you go far enough left, you get your guns back.
    but most importantly,
  2. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU USE WOMEN LOSING THEIR LEGAL RIGHTS TO FUCKING PERSONHOOD AS A WHATABOUTISM FOR YOUR FUCKING ISSUE? MISOGYNIST DICKHEAD!

I have previously posted that I don't have a short fuse, my fuse is at negative so he had fair warning. Also, he's a dick who I keep snoozing and I mean to de-friend - and since I'm mad at the world, I'm happy to abuse him right now.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

I don't really get into conflict with family members about these kinda things. I don't know if it's just cowardice or if I'm just avoiding waisting my time and energy discussing something no one will change their opinion on. But this kinda thing definely gets my respect since I don't do it.

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bloodrose OP wrote (edited )

I am happy to let my rage out right now. And I am doing it on reddit, facebook, and twitter. where I can find ample awful horrible cis men to berate. I love how shocked they get when I start cussing. Also, there's some serious pearl clutching when you say "Mansplain me harder, daddy." hahaha

Trying to save some rage for the weekend, though.

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Styx wrote

Mansplain me harder, daddy

Totally stealing this from you, especially the 'daddy' part!

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lettuceLeafer wrote

Mansplain me harder, daddy."

Ur daughter is lucky to have a mom who makes men mad by saying that lol

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bloodrose OP wrote

OKay, so one drag race contestant said this is what women get for voting for Trump. So because some woman in a low population center voted for Trump, I deserve to die? Fucking great.

A designer I was saving up to buy a dress from did the same thing. He did it yesterday. I responded with "Don't victim blame today. Give us at least one day, man." He responded with "Tomorrow is never guaranteed" with fucking sparkling heart emojis after.

There are no allies.

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fortifiedmischief wrote (edited )

I'm confused as to how these men think that this doesn't affect them at all. Like, are they truly looking forward to paying child support for a new kid every year???

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bloodrose OP wrote (edited )

Not like they'd actually pay it. Less than half of people owed child support get the full amount

But, honestly, I think the reason they aren't thinking about how this affects them is the patriarchy has made them not responsible for ANYTHING to the point that they can't understand consequences. When we say the way a woman dresses explains why you lust for them and not your own desires, we strip them of all belief that they are responsible for their feelings or actions. Women bear the consequences of their actions. They never have real consequences.

The amount of cis men I have seen melt down when shit didn't go their way....like, I've seen cis men scream at a screw that got stripped because they were holding the electric drill incorrectly. But it was a faulty screw, not them that stripped the screw.

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fortifiedmischief wrote

scream at a screw

lol

Not like they'd actually pay it.

Ya, that's another big part of this debate... George Carlin puts it stunningly.... Many people who are pro-life (especially the loudest most misogynistic ones) are obsessed with the unborn child, but as soon as that child is born not a ZIPPITY ZOO out of them about childcare, education, parental leave, healthcare. So how PRO LIFE can they actually claim to be???

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crime wrote

Trying to save some rage for the weekend, though.

Love this.

As I was reading your post and this thread, I was scratching my head trying to figure out what reasoning shitty people could possibly use to turn this into a victim blame fest. Then I saw your examples....

The fucking nerve of these people to talk down to and belittle people who didn't vote. Like YOU'RE the naive one for not voting hard enough and they're somehow blameless and not at all naive for not only continually voting for these ineffectual fucking ghouls, but being duped by (or willfully ignoring) their perenial bait-and-switch bullshit. As if people who abstain from electing these fuckers are somehow ignorant or stupid, nevermind that these asshole seem to get duped every time.

But THIS elsction cycle will be different, little lady! And until then, I guess you can just sit and think about all the stuff you didnt do to counter a decades long concerted political operation propelled by a multibillion dollar machine. Hope you dont get knocked up between now and then!

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bloodrose OP wrote

Like YOU'RE the naive one for not voting hard enough

Jokes on them, I did vote. Like an idiot. In a twisted freaking Pascal's wager kinda way. Like, it only takes me a few minutes and it might help me.

It absolutely did not.

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crime wrote (edited )

The cruelest of ironies...

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bloodrose OP wrote

This is becoming my wailing thread now. My husband finally understood the gravity of my emotions today. I just started sobbing to my husband. I said I have built my life around not needing a man. Now, with what is happening, you might be needed. I might need a man.

The shock on his face, my god. He finally understood. Having someone like me say I might need someone else is ... yeah...it's big.

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