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[deleted] wrote

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bloodrose wrote

I would be really damned careful with this rhetoric. I know a lot of old gays that went through a lot of traumatic shit because people believed they were chosing to be gay. While I, as a bi person, have felt it was super bi-erasure to say sexuality isn't a choice, I have to admit that saying it is a choice caused a lot more pain to people and do not need my feelings validated here.

Also, as a woman who has watched hard fought for rights taken away in my lifetime, I am here to tell you it is possible. Gay rights can move backwards. Giving ammo to the right-wing like "sexuality is a choice" is probably not the best idea.

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[deleted] wrote

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dsfsf4ewtb wrote

listen, it's not biological, but it's also not a choice. there is a complex web of cultural, genetic, environmental, and biological factors which endow someone with a specific orientation or gender identity. These things can not be consciously chosen, and they exist outside the realm of politics.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

I will say this it wasn't until encountering the gayness is a choice naritive on raddle did I I stop being straight which made my life way nicer. Personally the born with it naritive has been somewhat invalidating for me. So u may be right about it giving the right wing ammunition but it was a very useful naritive for me in coming to terms with queerness.

I just wanted to add how it has helped me not to invalidate your point. I'm glad you said something bc it is something I should take into consideration as I grew up where being a gay man was quite normal and far less stigmatized. It's something I will take into consideration in mulling over my position of sexuality as a choice.

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bloodrose wrote

No, that's a legit perspective. And perhaps mine is outdated. I could probably use a bit more nuanced perspective here.

I worry about backlash because I remember being a wild, free spirit in the 90s with all my abortion rights and shit and have been watching it all eroded away by MRAs, Tea Parties, TERFs and Q-sters...it just makes me fearful of giving opressors a single inch, especially an inch that they used to weild. I know a lot of gays who went through a bad time because people thought it was a choice and bear those scars.

I am personally ambivalent to the idea of whether or not sexuality is a choice - I don't think rights should depend upon "born this way" mentality and what anyone does with their love is their business and no one ele's. But on a "haha, so funny" note, while watching old Hercules episode today, I was like "There is no way I chose to be attracted to Kevin Sorbo - that man's a jerk!"

I will attempt to rethink my take and approach it from a more nuanced place. Thanks for your gentle input.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

Yeah I'm lucky enough to be privileged enough to not rely on government officials deciding to be nice for me to live my life. So I think your comment is good in h3lping remind me to sympathize with other like u who fear the government taking rights away.

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dsfsf4ewtb wrote

sexuality is unconsciously determined by genetic and environmental factors.

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lettuceLeafer wrote (edited )

Got some evidence for that? I've never seen any research proven sexuality is genetic. It also makes fuck all sense since sex and gender is a societal contrived and not biological. Unless humans somehow evolved in a way that RNA and DNA understand made up societal contracts that constantly change. I'd live to see that study tbh sounds fascinating.

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