Submitted by lettuceLeafer in Dating

Do I once again found a victim I mean friend who respects my and my dreams and is nice to me. The real hot shit lol. Well we would talk a lot only if I initiated. Well after bit I was getting bored and annoyed with this person so we weren't talking much. So after a but I really was trying to keep up with it since she had been nice to me.

Now a while back I was getting super stressed about taking care of my family and kid brother vs pursuing my goals. And I asked her if she would be down to hear about Thai problem I've been mulling over. Now she rarely would ask about me so she doesn't really know what was going on. So I gave her the details about how I'm super needed to take care of my family and am the main force taking care of my brother and shit would kinda fall apart if I dipped and I confused that I was seriously considering dipping as an alternative.

And she deadass responded that it would be a good idea to just leave if it would make me happy. I read that shit and was just so mad I never wanted to text her and she never bothered to check in on how I was doing when considering "ditching my fucking own young brother) so we just never talked again.

This was a couple weeks ago and I really haven't had social contact except for work and raddle since then. I only thought of writing this now bc I laughed at hoe it was funny when I realized I did the mysogynistic stereotype of women. The whole, having a problem and asking for advice but getting upset when someone agree with u. Which I never understood before but I totally get now.

I guess either most people are fuck horrible or it had something to do with me that all my social relationship implode withing 2 months lol. It's definely other people. Jk lol

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lettuceLeafer OP wrote (edited )

In case anyone is doesn't allocate my every comment to memory (u well adjusted fuckups) I actually didn't dip on taking care of a kid bc I didn't want the responsibility and tried to play hot potato with caring for my own brother.

In case anyone is wondering why I was so offended. 1 the whole thing shows a massive misunderstanding of central parts of my character and generally just understanding me 2 being supportive in a pretty disrespectful way by just agreeing with me and supportive my massive life decision despite not really being able to make an informed decision 3 just is a person who I had shared so much with but fails to understand even close to how I'm feeling and doesn't really care that they don't. I prob could disect a large amount of other reasons why I was so upset by such a response . But mainly I liked this takeaway I got that helped me disect a trope which portrays many women as crazy and irrational when it makes sense if u think about it.

Also can people please play me the smallest fucking violin. I can get lots of people to want to have sex with me but I can't find anyone I can stand talking to due to my massive ego making most people extremely annoying to me and I refuse to change central tennant's about myself to get along with people.

People just don't understand he struggle of allways searching for women, men and queers who I like talking to but instead finding annoying people who I keep having to turn down sex from I don't like. People don't know the struggles of being perceived as attractive and on paper desirable but actually a jaded asshole who refuses to get along with anyone. Boy does that sure suck.

Omg that another woman trope, (never having sex who want to have sex with them and just wanting someone nice to care about them lol)

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Fool wrote

The whole, having a problem and asking for advice but getting upset when someone agree with u. Which I never understood before but I totally get now.

I'm amazed at how much more effective it is to just acknowledge and rephrase, compared to trying to solve things - humans are not logical or rational.

People aren't looking for others to solve their inner turmoil, they're looking for an external voice to provide a reference point for reflection - so then it's no longer self reflection.

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lettuceLeafer OP wrote

I disagree. I know this and use it all the time. Plus for some volunteer work I did I did it a ton.

Im not someone who needs consoling. I don't like it. When I genuinely ask for someone's input I ask bc I want it. Do when people respond in a way a good engineer could do with an ai it just pisses me off. Sure it's good at consoling but I didn't want consoling.

If someone asks for advice and u instead respond how u think they want it's just rude.

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Fool wrote

someone asks for advice and u instead respond how u think they want it's just rude.

So what, respond in a way you don't think they want?

Okay, I'll try it. You're the expert on yourself, so the information they had to advise the question was only the information provided by you. So the answer the gave was the answer they believed you would be most happy with. As they tried to answer your question, you didn't like the answer they gave, and you got upset with them. You answered the question yourself irrespective of the advice provided.

If instead they'd displayed a greater level of interest, and tried to explore the issue they could have displayed a higher regard for your relationship and the problem. By doing so providing new avenues of exploring the implications of the decision to be made, but ultimately just providing information for you to make up your own decision, which is what you were going to do anyway.

How do you like them apples!

Also, go fuck yourself!

🐿️

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