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amongstclouds wrote (edited )

However, this is also worth the read.

Does butthurt refer to anal rape?

Although the question that started the Straight Dope thread I mentioned above is innocent enough, the thread title itself caught my attention: “Is butt hurt an anti-gay slur?” Let’s set aside for a moment the assumption that anal rape is a uniquely gay phenomenon—this is problematic, of course, but obviously not true. If you read through that thread, you will see a number of comments from people who also equated “butthurt” with anal rape.

They are not alone. Remember those Urban Dictionary definitions I skipped over before? Well, it’s time to come back to the definition that is currently ranked third:

some one who doesnt know how to take a joke, and they take the joke like they just took it to the ass hey its just a joke, dont get all butt hurt The fact that this definition is ranked third means that a lot of people agree with or approve of it—it has been upvoted 1,658 times (and downvoted 688 times). Part of that could be due to the fact that it is a relatively early definition, dating back to 2003, but there are eight definitions from 2003 and only three of them have over fifty upvotes, so it can’t just be the fact that it’s been around for a decade.

It’s not just Straight Dopers and the denizens of the Urban Dictionary; while researching this entry I found an article in Persephone Magazine by a self-described “angry feminist” calling herself “Elfity.” The question posed in the title is “Can we please stop using the term ‘butthurt’?” and the reason for this plea is the connotations of anal rape. While Elfity admits that this is not the common definition, she also says that the term “can’t be separated from that meaning.” The crux of her argument is best represented by the following quote:

Essentially, the term is used when someone is upset that someone else has gotten the better or them or beaten them or bested them in some way. That is to say, they dominated them. You know, like when someone is raped.

So, is that what is going on here? Is “butthurt” a term that originated as a reference to spanking but has now, thanks to the power of the internet, been at least partially transformed into a reference to anal rape?

The problem with language is that it is constantly evolving. One of my favorite examples of this is how “nice” evolved so much that it ended up meaning the opposite of what it originally meant—and with the way it is being used today, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was on its way back over to the negative end of the spectrum. So I cannot discount the possibility that “butthurt” has taken on meanings that it did not originally possess. That being said, I believe focusing on the anal rape connection is misguided—not because it’s not an important issue, but because it draws attention away from what is really going on when “butthurt” gets tossed into an online argument.

So this probably isn't resolved and it's certaintly situational.