Sorry that I won't be very specific in my response. I think many of your feelings are commonly felt by all non-conformers in society, and yet many more are endemic to this society; increasingly, this air of cynicism and depression can be properly called a global problem. Especially the last months I think intensified this and the unbearability of the situtation might have disillusioned many others who had last drops of hope in the future under this system. I've also been struggling with unending idleness, dismotivation, and lack of meaning. Theoretically I can say that Nietzsche's affirmation of life really helped me through with this. I can recommend a not-so-demanding secondary read of Nietzsche Nietzsche and Anarchy. On the non-theoretical side, it might help to invent some very small daily activities, anything that could encourage a bit of curiosity, really. Needless to say, the biggest help would be social interactions, and maybe meeting new people in particular, but unfortunately it's much harder to do this nowadays, yet still not impossible.