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ghost wrote

My father never ate anything my mom cooked. Apparently he never ate anything his mom cooked either. Once he got old enough, he would just go cook himself dinner. Usually it was a hot dog or hamburger, but with my mom it’s fish (which she hates and typically won’t cook) or a sandwich. Idk… it worked for them, I guess.

I do most of the cooking but I have most of the allergies, so when I cook something I would consider bland for normal people, I suggest condiments for my spouse. Like I can’t eat tomato or onion so our tacos are pretty bland (I do have one safe seasoning packet that’s awesome though), so he always puts salsa on his, and we keep salsa and taco sauce in the fridge so he can spice his up separately. We’ve done this with some other condiments and foods, too.

If you’ve got an electric slow cooker, could you premake soup or chili so that it cooks while you’re working, and your spouse doesn’t have to do it? Or you could tag team it, where you put something in the crock pot and then tell her it would be good with some other thing (salad, and put all the veggies that need cutting in the same spot in the fridge so it’s easy to find, or biscuits and use bisquick because that’s hard to fuck up if she likes baking, etc)… maybe if it’s more of a team effort she’d be into it?

Could she maybe not know how to cook, and maybe grew up with overly critical family? Like if you showed her an easy recipe and made sure the ingredients were in the house (and phrase it like “I’d really like to try this on my day off but it looks easy and if you want to give it a go tonight, feel free”?), do you think she’d try it out?

I always used to take legit gentle criticism super personally because I come from emotionally immature parents who traumatized the fuck out of me. Now it’s easier. But fwiw, if you’re eating at least some of the bland stuff she cooks, that’s love and I’m sure she notices.


asterism OP wrote

I have a slow cooker but I never think to use it. Maybe I should go that route that is a good idea.

The tag team idea is great too because you pretty much called it with the hyper critical family and everything.