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zzuum wrote

I'm probably pretty unconvincing since I have a cop brother and Marine brother


ziq wrote (edited )

Yes, by voicing my absolute disgust in them for considering it and almost losing my relationship with them because of it.


lookin4 wrote

Unfortunately, no. This might be because we are distant-relatives. Their partner and the majority of the family however are also not a big fan of this, but they seem to deal with it more relaxed than I do... but perhaps this is my distorted perception since I don't see them regularly.

There are hopefully more conflicts and worries related to it than imagined, which leads someday to their quitting the military. Or the call of duty transforms, when becoming a parent. Their mind and civil education offers better options than to be at war for the state corporations.

Tip: Try to identify their motivation for joining. It could be the uniform, the companionship, the desire for authority or leadership, the thrill, adventure, reputation or whatnot. Even if you don't get the idea of some or all of the above, explain them it can be found in civil jobs, too. Make a pitch for firefighters, paramedics, emergency management.

Good luck! If you want, keep us up-to-date. At least I am very curious.


edmund_the_destroyer wrote (edited )

My understanding is that a good portion of the people in the military are there for economic reasons. And while cops in most of the US don't make big bucks, they still earn quite a bit more than most of the working class.

A roof over your head, three meals, medical care, and a very low salary but no living expenses is incredibly attractive when you're struggling to make ends meet with $8.42 an hour or flat out can't find any other job, period.

And if you can last a few decades with either institution, you get a stellar retirement package relative to most other people, too.

I understand why people join. (Edit: I'm not saying I agree or support it. Just that I understand.)


gone wrote (edited )

Thank you, Edmund.

Videl, I'm not very convincing either. My concern is the absolute lack of support and compassion you are likely to receive from the mainstream for this tragedy. Your grief deserves to be acknowledged.

As usual, I am the other side of the same coin as another poster and it didn't go any better for me than it did upthread: I prioritized the relationship, accepted the gifts from the family member, and I don't think I could possibly feel worse about the downward mobility, substance abuse, bulls and bears and bears and bulls, etc. of

ACAB, even the one I birthed in my own bed, nursed until he was done, and sang "All My Trials" to; that asshole wouldn't think twice about shooting me in the back for a dime.

Nobody's going to click on the hug smilie for you the way they did for Pastor's Wife when her kid ran off with Phish to grow Marry Wanny in Amsterdam.

Ain't nobody gonna listen to you cry but this imaginary spider on this Reddit for Radicals on thishere interwebz thingummy.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Like most family trauma, this one doesn't get better either, it just inexorably changes from sharp, unbearable pain to a dull ache that defines your existence.


Just_An_Author wrote

Only relative of mine who joined the military did so before I really figured out what they actually did. Seeing as I don't have a time machine, there isn't much I could do on that front.