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RedEmmaSpeaks wrote

I don't know. I don't currently have kids, but I was relentlessly bullied from age 11 to age 18, so I know about that. I know I won't tell them to just ignore it, because then they'll leave you alone, because that shit doesn't work and it doesn't stop the insults for hurting. Or as the website, Sadly No!, puts it:

Ah, yes, the well-worn refrain to bullied kids everywhere. Ignore the bully and he’ll use your silence to believe he’s untouchable and torment you for months while you internalize your own worthlessness and believe you can’t even speak out about the abuse because it’ll just be “encouraging” the bully to beat you more.

No wait, I’m sorry, I got reality mixed up with platitude again. I meant to say, ignore the bully and he’ll go away and leave you alone, because you showed you were the bigger person and there’s nothing a bully loves more than someone they look down on for their identities or existence also acting smug that they are morally superior to them.

Ah damn, just keep accidentally kicking the switch for the reality/platitude inverter. But yeah, any bullied kid learned the hard way that this advice is garbage. Once a bully is on you, they tend to stick around and turning your back and trying to ignore just makes them more likely to escalate and feel invincible because they know that everyone likes a bully victim to suffer nobly and so the systems of power are behind them and will protect their actions.

I wouldn't want them to use physical violence to solve everything, but I will tell them that if someone swings at them, they have the right to defend themselves. To heck with what the zero tolerance policy says, just do it. Cops may be bastards, but even they recognize the basic idea of self-defense, that if Bill swung at Joe, Joe would be in the right if he hit him back.

Then again, I'm really not sure what to say. Most of my bullies were girls and girls go more for the psychological approach than the violent kind. I'm not sure what to do. You can't stop people from hating each other and it's damn hard to keep kids from whispering to each other. I try to think of solutions, but more often than not, I throw up my hands and say, "Stun baton, I could use to shock them every time they came up to me?" but there are probably hazards associated with that.