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noordinaryspider wrote (edited )

I yelled at my kids more than I remember, apparently.

I shouldn't have aborted #1 and I should have aborted #3, who shouldn't have existed in the first place because I should have run like hell when #2 told me she existed before the pregnancy test could.

I shouldn't have called my parents on the Thanksgiving that I was 16 because they really weren't that into being parents in the first place, so they would have been happier if I had just disappeared never to have been seen or heard from again.

I should have could have would have done all of these crazy and/or extremely minor things that could have rippled out in all these weird ways, like being in the right place at the right time to pick up a hitchhiker or hand a quarter to a stranger and then horrifically awful things never would have happened to people I never would have loved because I never would have "met" them on the internet it the first place.

But I could have said I had a headache or had to study for a test or just not been able to deal with sex one particular day and an amazing 30 year old human being would never have existed.