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4

noordinaryspider wrote (edited )

I think it is the only power I personally have. I have been cast in a role that doesn't fit me and left with unacceptable options. Conforming to society would involve cutting off all the parts of myself that I value in order to fit in and devoting what is left of my life to the collection of money I don't need for the purpose of self-soothing by purchasing products I don't want.

The other alternative will be presented to me as "being a worthless lazy loser with no ambition".

I have no control over that as a low income single parent with very few if any employment options and not much paid into Social Security. I can go kill myself or I can look at the bigger picture.

The catastrophe is still going to happen if I kill myself. If I find another way of self-soothing besides shopping and competing for (mostly mythological) non-existent minimum wage temp jobs, then it's not going to happen any faster if I don't.

This gives me a greater sense of power and purpose than asking my landlord permission to put a sign in my yard, putting a bumper sticker on my car, pulling a lever, and hating random strangers for putting different signs in their yards and different bumper stickers on their cars.

The system doesn't work for me. Anarchy always has in the past, whether it came from the person who picked up the obviously teenaged hitchhiker in the 1970s, the welcoming I received from the extended family of volunteer aunties, uncles, and cousins during the ill-fated grassroots homeschooling movement (think John Holt) in the '90s, the shoulder Food not Bombs gave me to I cry on in the '00s when I couldn't come up with enough money for my child support, or the ill fated #OccupyWallStreet spinoff in noordinaryspiderville of the early '10s that I unsuccessfully attempted to nurture as if it were one of my own beautiful messes of a rug rat.

Old ladies usually go back to their homes when they are scared, lonely, and confused. I'm no different than anyone else.

2

throwaway wrote

Conforming to society would involve cutting off all the parts of myself that I value in order to fit in and devoting what is left of my life to the collection of money I don't need for the purpose of self-soothing by purchasing products I don't want.

The first rule of fight club is: you do not talk about fight club.