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14

Zzzxxxyyy wrote

I grew up in a religious community that shamed masterbation. It was psychologically traumatizing. It’s also abilist. .

I wouldn’t doubt that this movement has roots in Puritanism if you trace them back far enough.

It’s always those who are most successful romantically who espouse it’s virtues.

If anything we need a profap movement. While we’re at it, how about a non-exploitive porn movement?

-3

nofapper wrote

Would that be like volunteer porn? Not for profit?

4

Zzzxxxyyy wrote

Or maybe porn where people communicate what the like, don’t like, etc. I don’t think I’ve seen a single porn where a guy responds, inquires about, or changes his behavior in response to a woman’s pain during sex.

I understand porn is about fantasy, but not all (or many) women like rough, painful, or degrading sex.

I can’t tell you how many women complain about how selfish and insensitive men are in bed. But I have to guess they’re learning to be that way from porn.

14

ziq wrote (edited )

I think it's not addressing the root causes; the things that keep them behind a computer screen all day, self-medicating through orgasm. Their depression isn't about the release the porn gives them, it's about the dystopia that makes their life so empty in the first place.

7

wild_liger wrote

I'm all for people trying to deal with addictions that they feel are damaging their lives.

But the "nofap" movement is way too adjacent to a lot very dangerous ideas for me to be comfortable with it. Lots of ink has been spilled linking fascism and authoritarianism to sexual repression, and I'm absolutely convinced that people are using masturbation cessation as a front for fascist recruiting.

7

Green_Mountain_Makhno wrote

nofap is a straight-line lineage from the crazy ideas of the idiot phrenologist fascists and religious nuts of the 19th and 20th century.

6

ravengrace wrote

Masturbation is natural and healthy.

But watching too much porn can rewire your brain so that it makes is hard to have a healthy sexual relationship with someone because your brain is overstimulated and you aren't in reality anymore. But you can still maturbate without porn lol.

If you have a problem try getting some help ... Read self help books or see a therapist but don't shame others for masturbating or promote not masturbating at all...

6

this_one wrote

Fail at what?
And what do you mean by "chronic"? just "regular"? "to the point where it having a serious negative impact on someone's life"? Wouldn't something like "porn addiction" be a better term for that?
The use of the word "chronic" seems to me to take as given that masturbating is a bad thing - you don't call someone who's happy all the time "chronically happy", after all, nor would you use it for something neutral like "chronic dress-wearing". It's only really used for bad things. So is that assumption (that masturbating is inherently bad) something you intended? If so, is it true?

In general, I don't really think much of the nofap movement. It strikes me as a bit weird, I'll admit, but they don't seem to be hurting anyone as far as I'm aware, and if not masturbating makes them happier, then that's great for them. It's definitely not for me, though. My only real interaction with 'the nofap movement' is that once I heard that abstaining from masturbation for more than a week could lower T levels in people with penises, so I went on /r/nofap to ask some people there whether that was true (to no clear consensus, from memory). Now that I have anti-androgens, I have basically 0 motivation to seek out members of the movement.

0

nofapper wrote

Fail at what?

At being a productive member of society of course.

6

Pop wrote

At being a productive member of society of course.

this is not something most of us here want to do; we want to destroy society as it is and make a new free one, and that's what gives us energy

0

nofapper wrote

Do you find you have a lot of energy living like this?

3

Pop wrote

Like what? I'm not a chronic masturbator

definitely I have more energy for destroying things than for not

1

nofapper wrote

Getting your energy from your dream of a free society.

1

ziq wrote (edited )

It's not just a dream they have, we all live anarchy in various real ways.

0

nofapper wrote

Yes it's bad if it takes over your life and you never go outside because you need to look at pornhub and 4chan/reddit girls all day long chasing that high you get when you cum but then after you cum you feel like shit until you get horny again so you can fap again so you can get high again. And your dick gets really cut up and it hurts the whole time.

3

GaldraChevaliere wrote

All you're saying is people with poor impulse control are prone to addictive behavior. I dunno about you, but unless I'm thinking about something particularly shameful (I still have a lot of baggage I need to work out tbh) I don't feel bad after I finish. Granted, I usually don't do more than maybe twice a day if I'm alone and bored, but any bad feelings associated with that have a lot more to do with culturally instilled shame than any kind of post-rub crash.

1

this_one wrote

Right. So it's not inherently bad. It's bad if it's a problem, but so is anything. More relevantly, I'd hazard to guess that for most people, it's not a problem. Maybe I'm wrong, but even so, it's definitely no problem for me.

5

surreal wrote

Not fapping is punishable by death in my religion.

4

nov wrote (edited )

This seems like a tautological argument. Does being addicted to masturbation harm your life? Yes, because addiction is defined as doing something at a level that is harming/impeding your life.

Is masturbating somehow uniquely addicting or problematic, no. Lot's of people do it in a healthy and sustainable way that can be positive or neutral for their lives.

I have no idea about the nofap movement, but I would say if you are forcibly denying your identity as a sexual being for no reason then its bad. If its helping you cope with an addiction, then good. Though probably a trained therapist would be helpful.

3

ravengrace wrote

But I just want to add I don't think its a good idea to center your identity on not masturbating. I think theres a nofap community and the people finding it aren't used to having community and they like that aspect. But there are better communities out there !

4

noordinaryspider wrote

That was the impression I was getting as well.

There are people who don't masturbate, either for a reason or a season, and other people who think it would be nice to be a person who doesn't masturbate. Both of those facts are just facts, but a movement of people who don't want other people to masturbate simply isn't natural.

The pornography industry is not something I feel comfortable condoning: I don't have enough information.

They don't own masturbation. A normal physical act is not a product. Nobody can buy or sell fapping.

3

Pop wrote

What do you think of the nofap movement?

idgaf

Does chronic masturbating make us fail?

what is 'chronic' and who is 'us'

2

nofapper wrote

Chronic - I masturbate about 5 times a day. More on weekends. I'd say chronic is anything more than once a day.

Us - humans trying to lead productive lives.

8

Zzzxxxyyy wrote

You sound like a young teenage boy. Masterbating is normal. Get some good lube and go gentle on yourself and you and your dick will be fine.

1

noordinaryspider wrote

If circumcision is involved then I am so not up for talking about this in public again.

If you need to buy condoms, then you need to toss a tube of KY in the cart too. On the shelf next to the KY if you are lucky there might be a similar product called "Astro-glide" or something similar that sometimes comes out "astro-gloob sex-lube" when one is trying very hard not to laugh while discussing it with one's own teenaged sons.

If you have enough money to purchase this product then you buy that instead of the KY because that is what decent people do.

If you are having sex with someone who has a penis and that person doesn't have a foreskin, you buy that stuff because that is what decent people do.

Even if the person you are fantasizing about having sex with is yourself.

If you are not a young teenaged or preteen boy, please forgive me.

2

noordinaryspider wrote

That didn't work either.

No matter how many people scream at me that my vagina is not a clown car and no matter how hard I try to remember, fapping just isn't going to help. I can masturbate until kittens grow on my palms, but it will never, ever take the place of a friend who knows me so well that I can call them at 3 O'clock in the morning drunk and hysterical and threatening to off myself unless they find me some funny videos of clown cars RIGHT NOW.

It just ain't gonna happen.

I'll never have a friend like that.

So I have to wash this snot off the shoulder of this empty shirt myself, type "clown cars" into my own search engine, and bellow my own off key rendition of "Send In The Clowns" even though we both know it sucks and Judy Collins can do much better.

I don't personally see Mr./Ms. Right Hand as being all that significantly different than my $50 Craig's List GEEEE-tar.

Go ahead and fap; it's okay; your penis isn't all that different from my next-door neighbour's religion:

It's FINE to have one. It's perfectly okay to be proud of it. I hope you find somebody else to share it with someday who loves it even more than you do. As long as you aren't waving it around in public or trying to shove it down my kid's throat, there simply isn't a problem.

No worries; fap away. Da childernz are fine.

1

martasultan wrote

I think its really creepy and they really, really don't need to build a 'movement' around it; its usually people who are MRAs or other weird sexist shit.