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bloodrose wrote

I find church problematic as an American woman. While I could easily ignore the theology if I disagreed with it for the sake of community, I can't ignore that every denomination/church I have seen/interacted with is so staunchly anti-woman. Even the ones that are not anti-gay, are still anti-woman and I'm very sensitive to that. Have you found church that isn't that way? Or are you lucky enough to not notice as hard as me? :)

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noordinaryspider wrote

I forget whether you have a son or a daughter, but it is a daughter who will never forgive me for trying to find community at a church, nor will she ever be able to pay her psychiatrist's bill.

You're doing parenting right, mama, just wanted to point that out. It's not my gay daughter, who is just fine, it's her baby Cissie.

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bloodrose wrote

I'm raising a daughter so we really pay attention to the gender roles. I don't think I would want to bring her to a church regardless. I don't want anyone to teach her about hell and make her afraid of some ominous authority figure wanting to hurt her if she behaves in a way other than what that authority has prescribed. I don't use authority as a way to get her to behave. I model kindness and empathy and try to teach her the same. I think teaching a child religion would only teach her an authority paradigm that I don't want her to know.

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noordinaryspider wrote (edited )

Good. One of my sons took up shoplifting and tagging because those assholes put the fear of heaven into him.

I can't say I blame him under the circumstances, which were 9/11/01.

More later.

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daniel wrote (edited )

There are far more women in attendance than men. They seem to enjoy the service equally as much as the men if not more. Women hold important positions as well upto and including leadership, most of the elders and deacons are women. Not sure what kind of churches you're going to, but if you are just going for community and ignoring the theology then it's probably always going to seem problematic.

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bloodrose wrote

I, too, often see more women in attendance than men at church. But they're also listening to how abortion is wrong, how women are mothers and helpmeets and taking in these gender roles like they're 100% okay. As someone who is a working mother with a stay-at-home husband, I do not jive well with gender roles.If there was a church that wasn't anti-abortion, was pro-women, I'd be really interested in learning about them. The closest I can see to the type of community I'd be interested in are Quakers but I don't know what they're like towards women.

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mofongo wrote

You could try to pm /u/Dumai. They're a Quaker and very willing to answer any question you may have about it. They quit the site not long ago but they may still log in once in a while.

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daniel wrote

What is a helpmeet? Any why be preoccupied with other people's contentment of their conformity or nonconformity to traditional gender roles... You seem to be the embodiment of doing what you want to do and being who you want to be, no one is oppressing you right now. Others in similar countries where those liberties are enjoyed are free to do the same, they choose not to. It's not my place to judge whether a woman prefers to be content as a nurturing caregiver stay-at-home mom or an abortion having alpha career-driven breadwinner. To each their own. No matter where you have been or what you have done, God knows and loves you perfectly anyway.

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bloodrose wrote (edited )

I did not mean that they should not listen to such things, only that I would not be content in the same environment because of what is being said. I apologize for my lack of clarity.

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noordinaryspider wrote (edited )

Think (or quickly search the web for what has been written about) Cheryl Lindsey-Seelhoff; Titus 2 women are dangerous to bloodrose and she can't help them.

At least not right now. Raising the anarchist sprout is more important.