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Tequila_Wolf wrote

I'm they/them.

Please all do put your pronouns in your user bio, it helps when responding to or referring to you here :)


jadedctrl wrote

My preferred pronouns are she/her.
raddle has a lot of enbies, compared to most communities I've been inβ€” I think it's great, that they feel comfortable & welcome here. :)


the_poebel wrote

I kinda like they/them now that you made me think a little bit more about it.


365degrees wrote

I'm fine with she or they. I use to just use "they/them" only but I decided that it's quite a stretch with some people and I prefer femininity anyways. (That's a lot of Is.)


this_one wrote

I usually say they/them, but my real #1 preference is this one/that one


selver wrote (edited )


But like some others here, I don't really care. If there were a less clunky, more widely accepted gender-neutral pronoun I'd probably just do that instead.


OldHippieChick wrote

I'm okay with she/her here but am questioning whether the risk to my physical offline safety by using those pronouns is worth the offense to my grammatical sensibility of just going with "they", which is my personal default for singular human beings of indeterminate gender anyway.

I was going to be the weirdo who asked to be called "it" for a few hours today since I am, after all, a spider, but it sounded too much like I was mocking other people who had much more important reasons for not settling for the default.

I'm seriously okay with he/his or whatever's convenient so it's no big deal. My manners are horrible right now out of ignorance and sadness about the hard realities of transphobia, but people have been very nice about pointing me in the direction of escape from that ignorance and forgiving a few fuckups along the way.


GrimWillow OP wrote

I find there are those who feel unable to go by their preferred pronoun irl and seek it on the net, and this was just kind of reaching out to anyone who might want people to know. Asking this question may also help normalize it.

Though I personally feel like gender is vague enough, I do think that it certainly should be considered in terms of how it can profile you irl.


OldHippieChick wrote

I'm really glad you asked even though my answer had to do with safety.

I was just unaware of how bad things were. Of course I have trans friends, but I present(ed) as too TERF for them to feel safe being themselves around me and that makes me sad.

Gender is really only relevant to me if we're talking about conceiving and birthing babies, breastfeeding, the final scene in the 1992 movie "Thelma & Louise", or sometimes if we're talking about misogyny.

Obviously it's also relevent if I've been going around scaring people and contributing to an environment where they aren't safe. I can do something about that with the static resources here and I certainly intend to do so.


OldHippieChick wrote (edited )

Replying to myself because I found my own answer:

I am every bit as much entitled to be referred to by my preferred pronouns as anyone else. I am not misrepresenting myself as trans when I do not self-identify as trans. I could not possibly be misinterpreted as a die-hard TERFer who is full of shit about waking up just because ask people to use my preferred pronouns to protect my safety and the safety of those I love.

This is every bit as much of an objective fact as the other fact I chose to share: I am the beloved, pampered, and spoiled baby sister of a long-deceased always-closeted trans man and I only realized that a few months ago.